The Grimm Raccoon

Fear not the reaper, but the Grimm Raccoon. Please critique.

The Grimm Raccoon

Vapors consumed
Where the flowers bloom
High in the world
But the world was doomed
Chaotic and rabid
Like the Grimm Raccoon
We saw the future
But we weren’t in tune

Now sick on the fumes
We gasp for air
Call out to God
But the man isn’t there
Instead, we’re matched
With a deviant stare
Trapped within
The bandit’s lair

And what isn’t fair
If one can declare
The future is lost
While he sits on his chair
Eats from his troth
His knowledge is bare
Oh’ the bandit comes
With a fearsome snare

Author's Note

Please butcher my work, I need all the critique I can get to make my poems better.

Reviews

[Butterflymom]

Wow, this is my favorite of your writings! I think it is very creative, original and well done!!! Kudo's to you.

[Brittany]

I have to say, you are a first for me.

I have never read a poem about a racoon. I apologize if this was meant to be a serious poem, but it had a small comedic hint to it. Like a class clown doing a jig behind a motivational speaker.

I think the tone is heavily set by the picture you chose, the snarling 'coon. And for some reason that picture makes me laugh.

I can see the comparison of the racoon's lair, etc. But I'm failing to see how the racoon is relatable in this piece, aside from the "fearsome snare". You have some very good ideas in this piece. And it flows well.

Good job.