Curtain Call

Squeeze -- 

That bitter pill

So hard to swallow...

Blistering back my urge to slam my nails deep,

Flesh into flesh,

Skin into skin,

A wiser man would tell me to walk away.

 

But I don’t,

Because I don’t get to make those choices.

I am born to rust, I am built for burden.

 

While the sooth-for-say on my back rides high,

Higher up, dangling,

Hanging wreathes of insecurity

Dripping mad with loss and ineptitude,

 

Humanity calls, 

the big decision.

I will sit humble, 

Though I may as well give up

No one sees me. 

So, when eyes are turned I will easily be buried

Long to forget everything that I ever wanted.

Those passions spent, alone in the dark, in the loneliest hour

I will keep them a secret and they will reign.

 

If only, If only, I was neither girl nor boy, here nor there,

Maybe, just maybe, I could be…

I could walk these streets and empty floors and still never truly experience what it means to be busy all day long, 

and lonely all night.

 

Curtains on me, curtains on you.

I am not your friend or your lover. 

I am just someone who knows how to feel.