10-11-16

true story (about my life) please no hate comment if u liked it or not or pointers

every movement gets harder and harder...

every step...

every blink....

every fake smile....

nothing matters anymore.... 

its like my whole world just disaperared.... before i could even notice....

every night as i cry my self to sleep i just pray that everything will go back to its old ways and if not that i wont wake up.... i wake up at 2 am everyday to go to trainning every morning before school... i sit in this horrible hell hole for hours on end then after school back to trainning... i have no one to drive me... with no money to get a bus i walk an hour and a half along every busy roads..... hours later im on my way home by the time i actually get home it 10pm then i go see my little sister hoping she dosent hit me or throgh something at me... i try to walk past my farther without him noticing me hoping i dont get yelled at or hit.... i hope my mum dosent come into my room as im scared to see what she will do..... i feel like i have no friends anymore... my life is so lonely....

i have done so many regretful things... i alway just want to crawl up into a ball and cry...

i fall down and i feel like i can never get up... it like theirs a monster inside me... not letting me go....

i just want to die but i want to be rembered as a hero... i want to expereience having kids.... i want to join the army... i want to have a dogs... i want to have a 1969 camaro.... i want motorbikes and i want a family... but  even that dosent make me happy anymore.... why dose my life have to be like this???

Author's Note

please no hate
ignore the spelling and grammar