A Promise of Forever

This is a poem with back story but I am not yet writing it down...

This would have been a perfect night

with the stars and the green paradise…

But change is constant, nothing stays the same…

Rustling leaves are not always a lullaby

Soothing fragrance is not only the river’s scent

Wind doesn't always have the sweetest presents

 

There are nightmares here and there

Chasing you everywhere

I see you cry

Amidst the shadows,

You’re trying to fly

My knees are shaking, now my fear is shadowing

But thanks, I feel better when you whisper to my ear,

“Please stay, just don’t leave me behind”

 

Don’t you worry, I’m not letting you go

Close your eyes, hold my hand

Calm your heart

I’ll be alright, you’ll be safe tonight

You’ll witness the rays of the beautiful sunrise 

Who knows? ...

 somewhere there might be a rainbow in the middle of the rain

I can feel your stare, please don’t bother
I’m fine, I’m not hurt

Someday you’ll understand

I can see through your tears

I can hear what you want to say 

Don’t ever say goodbye

Just remember my words...

I’m just having a rest

I can feel peace on this mountain’s crest

Don’t be afraid

I’m fine, you’ll be alright

I will always be here, smiling...

You’ll be safe, life is forever

All that you know will always matter.

Author's Note

This was written on the night of February 11, 2014 while I was suffering from a high fever... just let me know if there are any errors... thank you.

Reviews

[Rene Salinas]

Most ideas have a sort of linear development as you and me an others would say they go somewhere even if they are not going anywhere as such. And I am taken for a ride here so I will invite you to walk with me.
"This would have been a perfect night" But change happened . So if that night would have stood still then it would ahve been perfect? Then change leads to nightmares and then to company that you say is good.Then this company becomes the idea and through her you feel and then there is a plea for better days to come. And a strong feeling of needing company some desolation and a little sadness too.

There will be better days to come

Thankyou for the invite

[Aprille]

You're welcome and thank you so much for the review.

[Eve Ola]

ur change is constant, nothing stays the same…
Rustling leaves are not always a lullaby
Soothing fragrance is not only the river’s scent
Wind doesn't always have the sweetest presents

you said all by saying these words. deeply felt. I love it

[Aprille]

Thank you for your kind review Eve. :)

[Matching Socks]

Great poem. You mentioned there's a back story, would love to hear it, here or message me.
Beautifully written and very emotional in spots.

[Aprille]

Thank you so much. :)

[Matching Socks]

My pleasure. :)

[Lexi]

There are a few grammer errors but I'm not sure if they are intentional or accidental.I really like this poem and the panicky desperation of two people trying to hold on together and make it through, it reminds me of a few personal experiences. Overall it's a very good idea and I loved it :)

[Aprille]

Actually, the two persons are siblings. I'm glad you like it in general. Anyway, can I know which part has the error? I would be glad to fix it. Thanks.

[Lexi]

The part with the wind, I'm not sure if it should be doesn't or what. I don't remember the other one I saw so maybe the words just got twisted in my head haha :)

[Lyn Anderson]

I like it -- to me it seems about a person who is passed, letting the speaker know there is an afterlife. I did not see any grammatical errors.

[Aprille]

Sounds like I'm better when I'm not feeling well, and you got it straight when you said about a person who just passed, that was exactly what I was thinking while writing that poem. Thank you so much and I'm really glad you like it.

[Sami Khalil]

"Amidst the shadows,
You’re trying to fly
My knees are shaking, now my fear is shadowing"

A wonderful poem...:)...................

[Aprille]

Thank you so much. :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)....................

[J. Land]

This flows nicely, except in a few places. Be careful about prepositions "at the middle of the rain" might better read " in the middle of the rain". In the second stanza, "fragrance" and "scent" essentially mean the same thing. Add a descriptive detail (what kind of fragrance?) to give it a stronger impact. Overall, you do an excellent job conveying the sense of dread. I like this poem. Good job.

[Aprille]

Thanks for the review.

[Willow Radcliffe]

This is beautiful, I'm very impressed. Good job Olive

[Aprille]

Thank you.