An Early Present...

out of the tiniest interaction, comes the biggest realisation...

I thought of you today

do you remember

when I caught you

picking out my birthday card?

smiling to yourself

and blissfully

unaware,

I came to you excited!

…but you became undone?

pink and suprised

shorter,

(yet older) 

glancing at my hand 

your eyes enquired

what's in there?

(affection…for me?!)

yes, for you

should you enjoy it...

should you peruse it...

in your private joy,

did you

resent,

the occasion?

caught; 

in smiling

& consideration.

you perceived this intimacy,

as intrusion…

so shocked are you

at, 

my esteem,

direction,

intention

it's perplexing...

as if,

some crystallised clarity

had occurred…

now that we're at this junction,

you

let the quick lick of love

seduce you…

and now you want to own me.

I watch your hands wander,

tracing sharp edges

of 

pink and blue baby cards...

dangerously close

yet no-where near inside you

never with you until absent

then in your mind

there I exist

so back,

backtrack,

(here we go)

deep breaths into a deep private destruction

which you claim to own

your home

in there I hide

a swamp

(which you retreat to)

befriending my enemy

demons in a darkplace

whisper

gather

and ganter

my pillow wet with blood

you lay your head

comfortable

i lay soaking

staring

detecting vibrations

negative elevations

scratching steel wool

from my eyes

finally

i realise

your love is contained in words

on pages

which don't exist

and don't matter

and as i burn it

and prepare to leave

i kiss your bloodied head

'never again'

I cage myself in white light

and protection

because when you find me missing;

nails on chalkboards

fields of black roses dying 

horses gasp swimming in black oil

ladybeatle screams - wings pinched by little fingers

the heart

the big red young heart

pumps furiously

legs pacing

im heavy today

as im carried away

in angels arms

you run behind me

red eyed and angry

birthday card in hand

those words inside

don't carry

it's no promise

no commitment

it's a debt

i've become free of

have your private intimacy

have your conceptualisation of me

I will not love thee…

Reviews

[Antonio Valentino]

Very, very impressive. You have a nice future ahead of you in writing, this was, pretty great.

Really enjoyed it.
Antonio

[GTVile]

I agree with Sid. This is absolutely beautiful and mind-bending in your ability to maneuver such frantic prose so poetically. I'm impressed. I wouldn't change anything.

[sid......]

wow ~.~ beautiful! the dark part is awesome
pls chk out mine too.pretty short 1.wrote 4 my upcoming band :)
pls review it.