Mummys Boy

This happened on the Christmas of 2010 - I went up to the Gold Coast (away from my family) to meet my new older boyfriends family.

I dated an older man this year

He is 42. 

If I say he was 42, it sounds as though he's dead.

He kind of is though, in a way.

I met him at work. I work at a big company; I'm one of many. 

But he chose me.

And I chose him.

Did he?

Did I? 

I met his family at Christmas. 

He told me he wanted to marry me. 

He bought me expensive things. 

He looked at me - he saw me. 

He never married. 

He never had children. 

He had never been engaged. 

People warned me...

Why did I think;

that I could change his personality? 

Why did I think;

that I could hold his hand?

Why did I think;

that I could show him love?

When he never wanted to be loved...(or did he? and does he still? but lies to himself at day, and cries alone at night).

He slept in bed with mummy;

almost.

She nuzzled in his chest;

almost.

I lay alone - listening - listening.

Every night - the dull drone of mindless chatter

They sat on leather

Making chit-chat while dying.

his eyes forgot to see me when the sun came up next day

he picked

he prodded

he stung me in the worst way

He hurt me pretty badly

undid me very gently

He wound me up so tightly

so very very tightly

i know why he let go, of the weave that we created

i know who is behind it, and why we didn't make it

I know that this has happened, time and time before

I also know why people call their 'mother-in-law' a w***e...

But then again, here it is, the truth which is so painful

he's 42

and all grown up

and really? it is shameful.

if he really wanted something, something else so raw

something for the fun of it

anything at all!

he would of stayed right by me

in my time of need

instead he gave us up for his mother with the deed

they're very superficial

i dont doubt its about money

but when i give you time and heart

honey -

not funny.

don't waste my f*****g time you pig

you really fucked me up

cause i thought dating someone older meant you'd give a f**k

when really you are more absurd than any teen I know

and so deeply deeply insecure

I swear I had been lured;

false pretension, presentation - pre-meditated fling.

'little pigs, little pigs, let me come in' 

no shining, 

no monster, 

it's worse,

you're you.

you've lost me now - you know you have

i am gone for good

but somehow (you peice of s**t)

i still think of you.

it's been 3 days so give me credit,

give me just a week

before you know it

ill be fine

you won't make me meek

i only hope you don't resolve to saying that you could

cause by the time ive lost my mind

i wont be in your 'hood.

go to geelong (when you come back)

I don't want to see you

Curse the fact that you cant stand up to that f*****g b***h that made you.

Author's Note

now look, don't get hyper critical. This is cathartic.

Reviews

[TL Boehm]

I am sometimes prone to venomous purging, so no criticisms here. There are som stellar lines in this piece - simply stated yet powerful like "he looked at me - he saw me" and "they sit on leather, making chit chat while dying."
Strongly penned. Nicely done.

[YahYa Moolla]

Powerful. Captivating. Filled with true raw emotion. Well done! I will be following your work closely. Brilliant voice.

I love how this is a poem, but tells such a well painted story.

[PianoandPage]

good cathartic writing. i will still my critic tongue.

there are real gems of brilliance here.

i like how you write. can't wait to read more.

p.s. i'm sorry he turned out to be a pig.

[OT]

A very good first piece on here! It kept my attention the whole way through and the opening was really strong!! a few small grammar related issues, but easily resolvable, a great read! And welcome to Writers Cafe!

[abby2011]

Hahaha thanks guy =).

you know what? I didn't even review it, i just posted. I basically joined and vented last night.

Thanks for your reviews! Good feedback xo

[Ron]

Very strong opening and good potential here. Poem wobbled when emotion kicked out the punctuation. Go back tweak this up from half way. A very good work is living here somewhere!