Two Sides of the Same Coin.

I'm so confused right now! I know it'll probably be gone by next week, but that doesn't make it any less real. This'll probably just be another sappy love story, but maybe it'll help with my raging internal conflicts. . . .

 

I walked down the hallway and into the classroom, grabbing a seat. My eyes swept the room, and I instantly knew what, or who, I was looking for. Him. But I didn't see him, and I relaxed. I was doodling a little cartoon on my history homework when he began walking over to me. I looked up, wondering what the occasion was. Then he started talking to the girl right next to me. Of course. I was still invisible, and he was already flirting with her. It was driving me insane, the feeling. How could he not see how I felt? Were all boys so oblivious? He sat down across from me; behind the girl. I gritted my teeth and returned to my doodles, silently plotting the most torturous ways to get revenge on him.

 

The intercom buzzed and my head snapped up. I growled softly to myself at the interruption; I was just beginning to have fun with my sadistic thoughts. But then, I thought something I really didn't want to think. Apparently my subconcious had known I'd think this sooner or later, because I generally avoided this thought and any thought that could lead to this thought. And I asked myself, Why do you want revenge on him?

 

And I realized I didn't know. The tip of my pencil snapped off on the paper, and I got up to sharpen it. But why did I want revenge on him? What had he done to deserve it? The part of my brain I'd been in before said it was because he was born, but then I winced. I wasn't a mean person, and he hadn't done anything to me, had he? Maybe I blacked out or something, and he did something terrible that only my subconcious mind remembered. Or maybe he didn't?

 

"Tally? Tally?" someone called. The voice brought me back from my thoughts, and I realized I'd been sharpening my pencil for the last five minutes. "Class is over."

 

I turned around and realized the voice belonged to him. I wasn't big on cuss words, but the only thought I had right then was S**t. I immediately scolded myself for almost saying it aloud.

 

"What?" I said in a completely snobbish way. Did I really just say that? I needed to take a chill pill and drop the attitude before it got me in trouble.

 

"I just wanted to tell you that class is over, that's all," he said, unconcerned. "Your pencil's really short now."

 

"I know that!" I snapped at him. "What do you want?"

 

"Um, maybe this isn't the best time for it. You seem like you're in a bad mood . . ."

 

"Yes, I'm in a bad mood. Because you're here. Beat it!"

 

He skulked away. Wow, I acted like a total . . . oh, you get it. What was my problem? Why did I automatically hate him so much? And suddenly, my entire mind shut down. I didn't think at all during my next classes. I didn't think at all when I got home. It was only when I was sitting on my roof, staring at the stars did I dare to open my mind again. And I knew what my subconcious had known all along: I was in love with the boy. I completely was, and I couldn't stand it. Because when you love someone, you can be hurt by them. I, the ultimately powerful, was suddenly very vulnerable.

 

I briefly contemplated jumping off the roof, but thought better of it. I was sure someone would miss me, and I didn't want to cause them any pain. And now I had a dilemma. I couldn't kill myself, and I couldn't not. Then what was I supposed to do? I was staring at the moon, and it was full. I looked at it for a few more moments, and then I howled to it, just like a wolf. I laughed a bit when all the dogs in the neighborhood joined in, followed by several angry shouts from people who were already going to sleep. Or tying to.

 

I climbed back in my window, and as soon as I shut it I was struck by how immensly weird that was. Yep, I was definitely a freak. And I still had that stupid dilemma to take care of. I looked around my room and laughed at all the stuffed animals lying on my bed. I may have been a dork, but at least I could admit it. Wait, hello! I was forgetting my own sappy drama. And I realized I didn't really care. Not in the least bit. So I was in love with him. What was I going to do? He obviously liked Ms. No Personality who sat next to me in history class, so why should I bother?

 

But I remembered the conversation we had and sighed. Why hadn't I listened to what he wanted to say to me? It might've been something important. He might have been asking me out. Wow, this was really starting to suck. I resolved to be extra-nice to him tomorrow and ask him what he was going to say to me. But not too nice. Too nice is kinda creepy. Anyway, I doubt he'd really ask me out. Who'd want to date me, a half-crazy dork who was possibly a werewolf? I laughed quiently to myself and flopped down on my bed. Maybe I'd get lucky in this whole situation and really become a werewolf. Then he'd be so intimidated by me he'd HAVE to date me!

Author's Note

Whoa, that turned out way weirder then I thought it would. Oh well, it was fun to write.

Reviews

[Forist.johnston]

AND fun to read! I really liked it when she just starts howling and the dogs join in. I thought it was really cute. =] I liked the title too, it made me really wonder what it could possibly be about before I even began reading! Great story, I hope she gets the guy. =]

Forist!