Chapter 1

 "Oi! Cyvana!” Schnevero called out to his older sister. “Get over here, Hayrdyn needs you!”

She rolls her green eyes, turning her head towards her brother and his best friend. “I’m busy, fools, make it quick. What do you want?” Cyvana pauses, giving the sword she had been practicing with to her apprentice, Rochar, and heading in their direction.

Hayrdyn shoves Schnevero before speaking to the woman. “I was wondering when you’d be ready to send out a scout patrol to the forest.”

“As soon as you need it, imbecile. I have Olavana, Aina, and Blåis ready to move, which you would have known if you were paying attention to anything I do.” She flips her long, red hair over her shoulder and returns to Rochar, sending them another glare.

Schnevero snickers. “You won’t get anywhere with big sis if you act like that.” He points out.

Hayrdyn pushes him again. “For the last time, I’m not interested in Cyvana!”

“Sure you aren’t. And I don’t like Blåis.”

Hayrdyn snorts. “Nadiro likes her, you know. You’re going to have a hard time getting through him, that guy is scary.”

“Nothing that I can’t handle.” Schnevero defends himself proudly.

“Nadiro is literally one of the top ranking male guards, idiot.”

“Now you’re even starting to sound like Cyvana, calling me idiot and all. I am a male guard too, that thought doesn’t deter me.”

Hayrdyn huffed. “In training! We’re both in training!”

Schnevero grins at his best friend and they know what to do, tackling each other and wrestling on the ground, a stunt they performed practically every day.

Suddenly, a shadow sets over them. Schnevero looks up in fear to see his cousin, Aina, standing above him with her arms crossed, and her usually cheerful face set into a scowl. “Nev…” She warned. “A future male guard does not fool around with his friends every chance he gets.”

He shamefully brushes off the dirt from his clothes. “Sorry, Aina…”

“So, Hayrdyn,” Aina changes her frown into a blank, unreadable face. “Are we going to go scout? Cyvana said to check with you, because apparently you were coming with us.”

“R-really?” The usually cool and collected young trainee stammered out. “I get to c-come with you guys?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “But you have to stay here, Nev, Cyvana’s orders.”

“Awww…” Schnevero muttered. “Sometimes sisters can be so mean…”

“Cousins can be mean too.” Aina flicked his sweaty forehead, before stalking off once again, turning back only to gesture at Hayrdyn to follow.

Hayrdyn shrugged at Schnevero. “Sorry bro, have to go, I guess. Have fun cleaning with Zoura or whatever Ana is gonna make you do.” He cackled like an insane person, and pulled his gleaming knife out from his side, holding it out in front of him. “I’m ready!” Hayrdyn called out to Aina, jumping a bit.

Schnevero pouted. His sister never chose him to go on scout patrols, even though she knew it was a necessity in order for him to become a full-fledged guard. He had never been on one, and although this was Hayrdyn’s first patrol, she so bluntly picked him over Schnevero.

“Oh, Nevy~!” Someone called out to him in a sing-song voice. “Neeeeeeeeeeevy!”

He groaned. His sister really was torturing him, sticking him with the one person who was obsessed with him. “Hey Poue…” Nev sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.

“How is your training going, Nevy?!” The young man’s bright red hair was plastered to his forehead, he had been running to get to Schnevero.

Schnevero sighed. “It’s great, Poue, being a guard is so very fun.” He sarcastically spat. “I get to practice to kill others, and I have to work my a*s off, all for nothing, because Cyvana doesn’t think I’m capable of anything. Just fine and dandy!”

“Wow, I really want to be a guard!” Poue couldn’t keep the excitement out of his naïve voice. “I want Cyvana to boss me around.” A strange glint grew in his pale eyes. “No, I want you to be my captain. And you can boss me around, Nevy!” He threw his arms around Nev.

Schnevero edged away, creeped out by Poue’s affections. “Only females are captains, Poue…”

“I know.” Poue was growing an intensifying creepy aura around him. “There’s something you need to tell everybody, Nevy, remember?”

“For the last time, Poue, I am not a female…” This frequently happened with Poue, Schnevero didn’t know why, apparently he was blind or something.

“That’s what you think.”

Nev finally had had enough of Poue’s weirdness, and flipped out of the way, running for dear life from the odd elf, wishing he was a winged elf like some of his friends. Thank goodness his training had kept him nimble on his feet, much more so than Poue, who was left behind in a matter of seconds.

He made his way to the treehouse he and Hayrdyn had built when they were young, with the help of Hayrdyn’s grandpa. They mostly used it when they were angry about something, and they’d go to vent their anger where nobody could find them, like now. Except Schnevero wasn’t angry, just annoyed. He discarded his armor, throwing the breastplate and wristbands by the shelves, and the thigh plates and shoulder pads to his left, letting out a sigh, glad to remove the extra weight.

Nev sprawled his long limbs over the dusty floor, resting his head against the wall. The only training-related thing he kept on him was his bow and quiver of arrows. He knew better than to put down his weapons when he was alone, who knew when the Sprites could attack?

The Sprites.

They were similar to the elves, yet very different. Thin face structure, bone shape, long ears. All features of both. But the Sprites had larger eyes, haunting and terrible. Long, flowing hair, even on the males, pale skin, and sharp teeth only visible when they sneered at you, or when they were coming in for the kill. No armor, but they hardly needed it, for they were quicker than the fastest runner, and able-bodied while fighting.

Schnevero had yet to face one of these creatures, but his sister had told him stories. They gave him nightmares when he was younger, and his mind had twisted them into horrible creatures of the night that preyed on his family members, when really, he knew they were able to communicate with each other, and they weren’t as bad as he had conjured up. But the Sprites still attacked them without reason, bloodlust ran through every one of them, even their children were warriors.

A twig cracked from the clearing below, and Nev snapped his head up, his head dancing through the different scenarios. The Sprites could be here, be coming for him, and his family. Or Poue could have found him. Schnevero clutched his bow tightly, his right hand ready to draw back and grab an arrow. Either one of those situations called for weapons.

He could hear whispered voices, but he couldn’t make out what they were saying. He didn’t dare to even breathe, maybe they wouldn’t know he was there.

Nev wondered if he should collect his armor, but decided against it, because the clanging of the metal would have been loud, so he just stayed exactly where he was, until his curiosity got the better of him, and he peered out the window to see who was there.

“Help me, Cyvana…” He whispered, because indeed, it was the Sprites. A patrol of five of them, and he wasn’t too nervous to make note of what they were like and think about the fact that this was the first time he had seen any. There were 4 males and 1 female, the skin on every single one of them was pure white, and their faces were flawless. They weren’t quite what he had imagined, but they still frightened him.

He ducked back down before they could spy him, and breathed in and out heavily.

“Cyvana…” He was trying to somehow communicate with her. “Ana, please… Show me how to defeat these creatures…”

Schnevero’s face had paled, to almost the color of the Sprites, and his freckles were standing out against the white of his face.

A shock of snowy hair appeared at the entrance to the treehouse.

“No, no, no…” Nev muttered. He was hidden in the corner furthest away from the opening, hoping the lone Sprite wouldn’t see him.

The only thing that surprised him when he saw the entire Sprite was that it was not the female. He had assumed she was the leader, but then again, she could have sent one of her soldiers ahead of her. The male had messy white-blonde hair, light blue eyes, and completely black clothing, a contrast to his fair skin.

Schnevero watched him peer around the small area with dim eyes, until those eyes landed on him, the shivering elf with the comically large bow. The frown on the Sprite’s face didn’t turn into a sharp-toothed grin, and a glint of amusement didn’t spark in his dull eyes, like Nev imagined would have happened.

The Sprite barked something in an undistinguishable tongue to the outside, and the rest of his patrol scrambled up the wooden ladder resting against it.

Schnevero stood his ground, choosing to actually stand up, and fight, even if it meant losing his life.

The 5 continued to talk in the language of the Sprites, without sparing Nev even much of a glance, surprisingly.

“Hello?” Schnevero chose to be stupidly brave, and see what they were planning with him, but they gave him no heed. “Hello?” He waved his hand in front of the first one’s face. “Are you guys gonna kill me, or what?” None of them looked at him, save the female, who glared at him, beckoning him over.

“They can’t see or hear you, elf, for some reason.” She hissed quietly in his ear. “I’d get out of here while I can, if I were you.”

His jaw flew open. They couldn’t see him? How?

“Go, stupid elf!”

“B-but! My armor! A-and are you sure they can’t see me?”

“Yes!” She cursed under her breath in the Sprite tongue. “Go, before they notice I’m talking to myself! Who gives a crap about your armor, care about your life instead!”

“O-okay…” He managed to stammer, still astounded. “T-thanks…?”

“Eirika.”

“Thanks, Eirika.” He smiles a shaky grin at her, jumping out the doorway. He hit the ground hard, on his feet still, which knocked the breath out of him, but he continued running. He needed to warn everybody about them. Too late, he stumbled, falling, when he felt the sharp pain of a knife in his upper right back.

Author's Note

Picture is of Schnevero.

Reviews

[D.S. Holl]

I really enjoyed reading this chapter. You're a good writer that knows how to push a story line through the characters and their actions; which a lot of new writers don't do. Nev's character was interesting and I liked how he was nervous and a bit green when it came to actually fighting. I also liked the 'knife in his upper right back - that was a cool way to end it.

One thing I had a hard time understanding was the opening dialogue; there were so many characters that I'm not familiar with and I was trying to keep up with who was saying this and who they were saying it to. Many cutting it down a bit or maybe adding some paragraphs describing the scene better. Other than that, great job!

[Seamus Kirkland]

Thanks so much for the feedback! Someone else who has read this story before has also commented on the characters being hard to follow in the beginning, so that is definitely something I will go back and edit!

[David Jae]

I like where this is going. The interaction between your characters is compelling and drives the story. Some of your dialogue seems a little stilted, but that can be easily fixed. A lot of potential, here.