Goodbye

With this s****y town

I've had enough

I'm ready to leave

I'll pack my stuff

I'm leaving the mountains

The snow, and the cold

Down to the beach

Where the sun is gold

Where everything's flat

And you can smell the sea

There's twisted grass

And some palm trees

With more people

And everything I need

Where not everyone

Is so full of greed

Grab my best friend

And a few pairs of clothes

And off we go

To reach our life goals

This is the new beginning

What we've wanted for years

Goodbye fake friends

And wasted tears

Author's Note

About me moving this summer. ^_^ I'm so ready.

Reviews

[Ees]

The poem is nicely written, but as for the content... be careful, it is just the same s**t everywhere, you may come to miss mountains and cold. There are false friends and greed everywhere you go and you'll always only be you.

Nice joyous saying of goodbye in poetry though!

[Apatheia]

I knowwww but I can hope. :p I'm glad you liked it.

[Ees]

Hahaha.
Okay. Enjoy your hope, I shouldn't have been such a buzz-kill.

[Coyote Poetry]

Good to escape the cold. I like the desire to escape and the description of the new location. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Rob Santana]

Hope you enjoy your life in your new location. Well written piece.

[MachinaWriter]

Been in this situation before lol Sometimes a new place is good for you. No matter where you go, its just a place. But the act of moving somewhere new can be good for you, especially when you have a lot of bad memories associated with the place you're leaving. I hope things turn out good for you. Be sure to stay in contact, though, and keep writing new poems for me to read xD

[Pearlie]

Goodness I love the rhyming scheme it really does pull you in and has a great rhythm that makes it easy to read. It's a lovely personal story about the "the greener side" and an opening poem to your new life this summer! I hope the move goes well and that you find all you hopes and dreams come true.

[James William Dyer]

I liked ther subject matter, and the hurried sound of the poem. I didn't care for the rhyming too much, in my opinion it could add to the poem if you took out the rhyming devices and employed a staggered sound that would make the reader think of suitcases flung on the bed, clothes being stuffed into them, and more imagery too. Maybe include some visual symbols that strike home hard the notion of being done with the town, maybe the house being emptied and a picture taken down revealing a crack in the wall that'd gone unnoticed for hyears, stuff like that. Really enjoyable to read. I liked it.

[deepblue04]

wow, yeah, I was so ready to go to college, but at times we would miss it, and sometimes we can just go with it, I prefer the cold to tell you the truth, I miss the snow so much. Good job!

[de_maruf]

ok
goodbye

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi, Apatheia, a nice little poem that describes your wish to escape a small community where there may b a tendency to watch others and be small minded. However the greed is by the beach me thinks.

[Claire Twinn]

Sounds like a well overdue goodbye, sometimes staying put can just be too claustrophobic. Hope you have sunnier times in your new home.

[Apatheia]

Thanks! And that's exactly how I feel. :)

[Pratik]

This was a nice write.. peppy and unapologetic... It talks about moving on with life, not with a sense of longing but with enthusiasm... This was quite breezy to read through.. I enjoyed this.. :)

[Apatheia]

Thank you so much. :) And thank you for reading!