Too Much Liquor

He kept drinking his pain away

While ignoring my own

She was popping her pills

Passed out on the coach stoned

He'd hit her and hit me

Too drunk to remember

She was sleeping around

Cheating on him with the neighbor

He was pissing on everything

And screaming those words

She was screaming back

But both their words were slurred

The house was a disaster

We have roaches and fleas

But they didn't care 

They never cared about me

I'd wake up to my name

And it's her crying

She'd say she had enough

That she feels like she's dying

He leaves for six months

But he never talks to me

It was "too painful"

But he'd talk to the other three

The neighbor moved in

She got a new place

We kept moving around

The past she tried to erase

It's nothing to forget

But it's nothing to remember

I lost my childhood 

Because of too much liquor

Author's Note

What do you think about this one?

Reviews

[James William Dyer]

I like it. This is exactly how my childhood went, as well. Fun times, fun times (sarcasm, of course). The only gripe I would have is that in a couple places it is too blunt, you seem to be telling us what happened instead of diaplaying it for us, as in the last two lines: "I lost my childhood, because too much liquor". That is all implied in the poem, and in fact I would replace those lines with something more subtle, something from your later life that shows us the effects of this, or something that makes you think of that time in your life. I liked the poem a lot, though. Oh, n maybe describe what the roaches and fleas do, and you could compare the way your household was run and the lives of your caregivers to the swarms of roaches, etc etc. Nice work, there is so much here to work with.

[Apatheia]

I'm glad you liked it and I kind of wanted those last two lines to be blunt. Thank you for the advice. :)

[Bumble]

Sad, but yet beautiful. Sorry about your childhood.

[Mandyy Reed]

I love it.I like the way you described the ugly truth.A true story,amazingly written.The last two lines really made me create an image in my head and they're the perfect ending to such a genuine poem.

[Apatheia]

Thank you so much and thank you for reading it. :)

[Adelia Alighieri]

The ugly truths about life. I think this is raw, plain and simple raw. Enjoyed!

[Apatheia]

Thanks :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A true story in the poem. Liquor lead us to a bad place. I like the way you told the story in the poem.
"The past she tried to erase
It's nothing to forget'
Sometime good to forget things that can't be repaired. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Apatheia]

Thank you for reading. :)

[Kaya]

I love this. Its definitely a dark piece, but its so beautifully written. Its subtle and blunt almost simultaneously, which is something I believe takes a lot of skill. I love those last two lines, after the entire story, I find the honestly and plainness of those two lines so refreshing. I think in that you found the perfect ending. I wouldn't change a thing.

[Apatheia]

Thank you so much.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That is an all to common reality in this world... it is so sad that so many kids don't get to enjoy the innocence of youth.

[Apatheia]

I know

[Jason Dyer]

Pretty straightforward. Seems like you have more to tell.

[Tate Morgan]

Alcohol killed my son in law this year and many others too I wish it were easier But it never is

[Apatheia]

I'm sorry to hear this.

[Rob Santana]

Holy s**t!!! Reminds me of my childhood,great write,but ugly memories,hahaha

[Apatheia]

I'm sorry you could relate butthanks for reading