With You

Thoughts, and more thinking.

My love for you grows every single day,

but sometimes this feeling just gets in the way.

The way I feel  lonely, and guilty, and stressed

With you in my life I shouldn't be this depressed.

Crying everynight, Every morning a headache,

My happiness you just seem to take.

You throw around my emotions like you don't even care.

I want to disappear. Act like I'm not there.

I curl up in a ball and just waste my time thinking,

While you sit and critisize, I slowly start shrinking.

My emotions are torn, my heart is exploding

While you go on ranting, your feelings unloading.

I know I'm not perfect, I know I'm a mistake

But you need to know my love is not fake.

These words you say do hurt me so

But all I keep saying is please don't go.

You're the best thing to happen

But the wost thing to come.

It seems my emotions are getting numb.

I sit there in silence as words bounce around,

It's not like you'd care that I'm falling to the ground.

You say that you care and that you want me to stay,

But you want all these feelings to go away.

Just know I'm alone, but with you I'm more lonely,

But I still want to be your one and only.

Reviews

[MachinaWriter]

Very well written. Plenty of people have felt this before. After all, who can hurt us more than the people we love? Their words always hold the most impact. On a technical level, I think the ending would fit together better if you said "but I still want to be your one and your only.", rather than just "your one and only". It keeps the pace of the last line a lot better. Just a suggestion. Other than that, the poem was wonderful, thanks for sharing it with me ^^

[Apatheia]

I thought that it was off beat a little bit. :) Thanks for the suggestion! I can't believe I never thought of something as simple as that. And thank you for reading. :)

[MachinaWriter]

lol no problem. Thanks for sharing it and for reading through mine, as well. I enjoy reading your work.

[Claire Twinn]

A lovely poem, you really make the reader feel your emotions, although I think the recipient of this poem doesn't deserve to be your 'one and only'.

[Apatheia]

Well thank you. And know but I just normally write when we're fighting. He is a great guy.

[Coyote Poetry]

'Just know I'm alone, but with you I'm more lonely,
But I still want to be your one and only.'
Sometime we lose when we win. Decisions can haunt us good and bad in a life. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Apatheia]

Thank you :) and thank you for reading it.

[Stephanie]

Wowie this was so wonderful to read. I can feel the pain and frustration in your words. Love could be so twisted at times. But don't worry about writing depressing stuff. Some of my best pieces were depressing stuff. I thought your word choices were excellent. It felt as though I was reading one of my pieces...but in a way that I wished mine sounded more like yours. hehe Keep it up!

[Apatheia]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Apatheia]

criticize**