Prisoner

What depression, at least for me, is like most days.

I'm here again. I have reached the void I shudder about when I am conscious. I am numb. Every day is the same. The time drags on while I lay in bed all day staring off into the distance. Hours pass before I realize I haven't moved or even had a thought other than nothingness. Have you ever found yourself not being able to think of anything but a hazy shade of white? A completely blank sheet of paper? An empty room with four pale walls? I try to get my ears to pick up on a sound, any sound, even just the whirling of the fan blades above my head, but everything is silent. The world around me can't seem to transmit any signals to wake me from this daze. I'm alone. Everything is calm and still and nothing exists around me except this bed. And every day, hour after hour, time keeps ticking on. If there is any sign of life within my grasp I am unaware of it. I wish to sit up in this bed if only for a moment, or muster the strength to swing my legs over the side and plant my two feet on the ground. I keep trying to get my brain to signal my limbs to move but they remain stationary. I am as good as dead wasting my life away for no good reason. If there is a prison guard patrolling the premises with a key to my freedom I haven't seen him.

Reviews

[MadisonJR]

This is how I have felt for a while now. It is cool to see someone able to describe it.

[Lykos]

A brilliant way to describe depression, most of us have been there and can relate. Feeling like the energy has been zapped from the body, your stuck to your bed. Great read.

[Kelly B.]

Thank you!

[Chris]

We aren't made to understand "blackness" -
just to live within it. Seems some have lived a life most can barely dream of - even if their dream is but a nightmare.

[Kelly B.]

Thanks again for the read and review! Appreciated.

[Chris]

In my own way - I actually understand... but that is its own story.