In my darkest...

I don't know why I can't shake this

Feel like I've been living life in the matrix

I don't even feel alive it don't make sense

I just wanna be alright I f*****g hate this

Tell me when's it gonna change

Cause every single person keeps saying the same thing

Stay strong now you'll make it through the pain

But its hard to see the sun when you're living in the rain

All this time gone that I can't get back

Feel like every single night I'm just living in the past

I lie and say I'm happy every single time I'm asked

I don't want to be a burden so I just put on a mask

I wanna give up but I can't quit

I promise that I'm fighting just keep praying that I win

Still got a lot of things that I still keep in

And I need to let them go I don't know where to begin

I seen s**t that I wish I never should

I bottle it all up and act like I'm good

Reality is I'm just so f*****g shook

I feel like an outcast so misunderstood

I miss being young

Back when I didn't have problems, just fun

Back before I had to worry about funds

Now to feel that way I gotta get drunk

I'm still stuck in this rut

Honestly feel like I'll never be up

I'm sick of this feeling I swear that it's fucked

I need to make changes reality sucks

Still don't know who I am

I look in the mirror like "who is this man?"

I still have no clue of my purpose or path

Something keeps guiding me through the aftermath

Sacrificing my life

Turning down friends just to stay in and write

I'm watching them live as I'm sitting behind

And I just keep on drowning but say that I'm fine

Feel like I'm alone

I got all these problems and nobody knows

Everything changing I hate that I know

I used to be happy but now I'm so cold

Cause home isn't home

I just keep on running don't know where to go

These demons keep coming I hope I don't fold

I risk my whole life for this path that I chose