Mirage

I lay my head gently up on the plush pillow

Thoughts swarm my lorn mind

I raise my head nimbly from the sunken pillow

For i fear my thoughts disappear

I hold my pen,cold on to the crinkled paper

To free my thoughts 

But stalled am i

Cant move on cant move back.

Author's Note

I honor your criticism!

Reviews

[marie]

this is a beauty:) great job:) i love it:)

[anxia]

Thanks Marie :)

[marie]

no problem:)

[Aehr]

It's a very powerful piece for sure. You know it's like an energy radiates off of it. :D I love the little tale it tells :D

[anxia]

Thank you , Rhea :)

[Aehr]

anytime. And Thank YOU for reviewing my book!

[anxia]

I enjoyed so i need to thank you :)

[Aehr]

haha. :)

[Trigorin]

Check your spelling and grammar. This is powerful, to be sure, and while your topic is good, I think you might have gone about this a little differently. Maybe expand it more?

[anxia]

Thanks for your review :) As for grammar mistakes yeah i agree i didnt follow punctuation but other than that please explain the others? and spellings mistakes???

[Brave girl]

i like it,i really do

[anxia]

Thanks!!!!! is the last line necessary even after mentioning stalled?