The Sinned

 She could feel his male hardness pressing against her. He started undressing her. He took a moment to stare at her angelic figure. And then he was ready. 

She did nothing. Offered no resistance, just silently accepted it. Closed her eyes and did what she always did. Felt what she always felt. Inert, to all pain and emotions. She knew she was impure already. Nothing could dirty her anymore than she already was. As the man took full use of the reward that his money brought him, she silently cried. Tears rolled down… tears of blood…

The silent night, or was it the dawn of a new day? It didn’t matter to her, she didn’t care. Stripped completely of her clothes, she knew that was the least she had lost. Having never known who she was, what a family was, all she knew was that she was one of those curses, one of those sinned beings on the face of the earth, who was born impure and no holy water from the Ganges could pure her. A dip in the Ganges, and that would have lost its purity. When she was a child, she would ask questions like, “Why don’t I have parents? Where is my family? Why am I not normal?” Yes, she would consider herself abnormal. 

She first realized the meaning of a w***e when she was 14 years old. The first time she was used. And then it went on and on. She would protest at first, fighting and kicking, but then she realized that this was her fate. She looked up, at the sky and thought, “This is what God has chosen for me. My life, a curse.”

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He was driving along in his Chevrolete Optra, on that desolate road. He could see no human, just darkness which was being pierced by the flashing headlights. Seconds later, he slammed on the brakes and screeched to a halt. 

He stepped out of his car immediately. He walked towards that unwanted being who was lying in the middle of the road. Almost naked, he could see scars on that fair skin. As if some curse. He bent down and gently touched her. He shuddered and took a few steps back. She was cold, as cold as anyone could be in the month of December. He turned her over and felt her senses numb. Looking at her face, he shook. An angel, no, she looked like some star who had fallen here, on earth. He checked his watch. It was late into the night, well past 3 o’ clock. Knowing not what to do next, he picked her up and put her in the backseat of his car, gently taking care not to wake her up. 

He had no idea why he came here, instead of a hospital. Opening the front door, he took her to the guest room and put her on the bed. He then covered her with a blanket, and let her sleep. 

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She woke up, feeling extremely weak. She would curse herself each morning, asking herself, “Why am I even living? Why don’t I fall from a building, or come under some truck? “ But she never found her answer. 

Just then, there was a gentle tap on the door. Now realizing the situation, she looked around. Where was she, what happened last night? All she could recall was that she was thrown out by that man and then was walking aimlessly towards some unknown destination. 

She heard the tap again. She realized she was naked. She covered herself with the blanket, and then softly said, “Come in.”

She saw him come in. He didn’t look at her. Just placed a dress on the table, and said, “I am afraid but this is all I have. The bathroom is on your left, and when you are done, the breakfast is on the table. I have work to attend to in my office. If you need anything, I am sure you will find it. I will be back in the evening.”

He closed the door behind him. But she came running out. 

“But who are you… Where… where am i? Why did you bring me here? “

“You were on the road last night. I brought you here. This is my house and if you want, you can stay here for as long as you can.”

She looked at him. He was handsome, about 30 years of age, with very boyish features. 

“I have to go now. Please, don’t hesitate if you wish to use anything.” He took out a card from his pocket and said, “Here, call me if you need me.”

He walked towards the door, picked up his bag from the chair, and got ready to leave. He half-closed the door and then smiled at her, “I am Rudra.”

She had no idea what just happened. No one, and she told herself again… no one had ever been this polite with her. In fact no one ever had been polite with her. She smiled and then looked around. A ‘wow’ slipped out her mouth. It was a grand house. Everything needed to live your life comfortably and with the best of comforts and luxuries. 

She quickly changed, had a bath, and then realized she had nothing to do. So she looked around. She saw a phone and remembered the card. 

“Umm, it is… me. Actually, I didn’t even thank you for what you did for me. How can I repay you? “

“Well, right now… Am in a meeting and am kinda busy, so you can repay me by hanging up. “

“Oh yes. Of course, am sorry… sorry… sorry. “

She hung up. He wondered, and then meekly smiled. 

When he came back that evening, he saw his house as he had never seen it before. Everything was perfect, in its place. 

“Did you eat anything?”

“Oh yes. There was some food in the fridge. Anyways, I am Rohini.”

He finally turned his face and looked towards her. She was wearing a blue sari. 

She saw him staring at her. 

“Oh, I.. I found this in that room and I.. I just, If you want me to keep it back, then it’s alright. I am sorry, umm.. I didn’t ask you. “

He came up to her and said, “It’s ok. Don’t worry, It’s alright.”

“Whose is this anyways? It’s beautiful.”

“That was my wife’s. He picked up a photo frame from the table and showed her. “That is Yukti. She died two years back.”

Saying so, he went to his room and closed the door.

She knocked on his door. 

“Are you ok Rudra? I am sorry… I didn’t mean to…”

But just then, the door opened and he came out. 

“It’s ok. Not that it matters anymore.”

After having dinner which was ordered from a close by restaurant, they both went to their rooms. 

Rudra was feeling… he couldn’t understand his own feelings.

As for Rohini, she had fallen in love.

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They were standing on the terrace looking at the sky on a warm evening of March. He took her hands in his. Caressed her face and kissed her forehead. 

“Tell me this is a dream. It’s not true. Are you for real?”

He kissed her and then said, “ Yes Rohini. Trust me. This heart that beats within me, is not mine. Your life, it's a blessing. "

“I don’t deserve you Rudra. I don’t. You know nothing about my past, about who I was, about what I have done.”

“How does it matter?”

“It does Rudra, it does.”

She ran away, hiding her tears.

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Next morning, he woke up. Looked towards his side and didn’t find… didn’t find her.

He looked everywhere. No, she was not in the house. 

He came back to his room and saw a piece of paper.

Rudra, I will be dead by the time you will read this. Call me a coward, call me whatever you want to, but I can’t face you anymore. You deserve someone with a heart Rudra, someone with a soul. Someone pure. I am impure, I am a w***e. I know you never cared about my past, that you accepted me the way I was. But, Rudra… I don’t deserve your love. I may be gone, but I am still with you, in your heart. And if you ever need me, just think of me, and I will come right into your thoughts. Please don’t cry or search for my worthless body. Just promise me one thing… You will live. Live for me. Please… 
Now give me a big hug and go to work. I love you Rudra……