Against the pleasure principle

The look you gave me was enough.
enough to break me and send my world spiraling 
into a vortex of chaos.
When you asked me Why?
I said 'I don't know'
as if ignorance is a reason
as if by saying 'I don't know' somehow 
that was explanation enough.
so I closed my heart and watched you decide 
if you should stay or leave
you tossed and turned in bed that night
and the following days and nights were frigid
almost as if the poles had shifted to our house.
maybe I should've said something like
'I'm scared' because truth be told I was and still am
Scared that you will stay on 
scared that you will leave once this veneer drops
scared that this might actually work
And I'm too messed up
too wrapped up in self-doubt
this is all I know. 
And if you try to fix me I will destroy us both
Can't you already see that I would sell your heart
for two minutes of pleasure?

Reviews

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

I understand this one very well. Wanting a relationship but perhaps not wanting to put forth the effort it takes to maintain one. Fear of failure stops you in your tracks and sometimes we run off what could have been the best thing that ever happened to us..........Well done