Dear myself

Dear myself,

I forgive you. I forgive you for not loving yourself and for thinking that you’re not as good as everybody else. We both know our path was rocky at some times, but you’ve made it so far and, for that, I am so proud of you. When you were called names and made fun of because of your looks, you fell apart. You did, many times. Cried yourself to sleep thinking there was no way of getting out. I remember how much it affected you and how much you suffered. Ugly. Stupid. Not good enough. Not worthy. Words hurt, and that you’ve surely experienced on your skin more times than you can count. I know life was not treating your right at all times.

But.

But, you got right up, and that is what’s important. You got up. Picked yourself from the ground, gathered all the bits and pieces that you’ve thought disappeared with every insult, and put them back together. It was all you. So you shouldn’t remember those times as bad, you really should not. Because, as I see it, all of the bad things made you the person you are today. And this person is extraordinary. What was once a shy, little girl afraid to speak her mind, now is a determined, intelligent person who stands by her words. Even when she stands alone. Remember when you were so so afraid of being left alone, you were around toxic people just not to be by yourself? And how you felt alive the first time you went for a walk alone, or sat at a café alone and not ashamed of it? Now you see it as silly things, but at that time, they were enormous. And remember, because of all bad thoughts that were in your head, now you can recognize that same thoughts in other people and help them. Sometimes all that took was a smile, or a kind word to make someone feel that they’re worthy. So, I think you should be very proud of yourself and how far you’ve come.

Therefore, you keep being you, as silly and weird and full of fun-facts that you are. Because that is enough. You are enough. Remember that.

Love, me.