natz's funeral

               blinking rapidly, i try to hide my tears. as i stare into her lifeless, cold eyes, i do not feel closure or a sense of peace or of forgivenessor any of the things the preist told us we would. i simply feel a tugging, drowning grief and deep sense of hatred for my now dead sister's killer. there are still deep red marks on my sister's neck from where the heartless monster strangled her with a scarf. i can't do it anymore. the tears bubble over. soon, i am crying in earnest, heart-wrenching sobs that echo around the packed church. so many people. i think bitterly to myself. all's they want is to see the dead girl on the news's funeral. most of them natz didn't even know! giving my older sister, natalie, one last glance, i slide of to the side and into my seat. i briefly consider standing with mom next natz's coffin, but i'm not ready to be in the spotlight. i can't deal with all these people watching me cry. i hate crying in public. i usually avoid it as much as possible. it makes me feel like i'm at the crowd's mercy and that they decide my fate. i don't like that feeling.

               the priest is looking impatient. i understand that he has to go to tons of funerals, but can't at least keep his facial expressions in check? no one else seems to notice the priests growing agitation. oh, are the mourners taking to long to get a grip on their lives? i want to shout at his face. are they too slow cryers? i take a deep, unsteady breath. the air around me is cold and hard to breath in. i suddenly feel an overwhelming need to get out of this place, to run and never come back.

Author's Note

two things.
1) i never capitolize my sentences or names or places. its just how i write, not a mistake.(:
2) this is not a personal story, or a story from my childhood, or a story in any way related to my life. i just like to write in first person. it helps me get into the story.

Reviews

[Peach]

I felt some sympathy as I read the first paragraph. I can completely understand why this person is feeling this way. I can see some vengeance later forming in the future. Nicely written. (: