Christmas Mourning

Christmas Mourning

By

Ann Outlaw 

It’s Christmas morning

But it feels like mourning 

From my eyes, tears are pouring

If I would’ve known what I know now

I would’ve left without a warning 

The snow is bright, the sun is shining

But inside my heart, darkness, it’s storming 

Up the stairs I go, I hear the fireplace roaring

The slight smile on my face, I’m forcing

All of the grief, the pain I keep burying

It’s building up inside of me, it’s like I’m hoarding 

The memories flood my brain

Like a million bees, they’re swarming

I close my eyes, for a split second I’m no longer falling

I picture his face, I hear his voice, he’s singing

His hat is crooked, his voice is deep

He calls out my name…

I was always...his little darling

Reviews

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

I interpret this as a woman who has been in an abusive relationship. "If I would've known what I know now I would've left without a warning." "I close my eyes, for a split second, I'm no longer falling." This reads as if a man has pushed you down the stairs. Always "his little darling." This poem, along with "Cold Dark Room" can really lead one to believe that it was abuse that caused the loss of the twins. I dearly hope that this is not the case. If so, I am just so sorry.

[Ann Outlaw]

Linda, thank you for your comment. I love that you tied the two poems together. That's my favorite thing about works of art, whether a poem or a song, the reader or listener gets to paint a picture and let the words come to life, according to the vision it created for them. Thanks again for the thoughtful comment.

[Kelly Scheppers]

I can't believe you posted this on Christmas Day, and have yet to garnish a single review. Well, I was charmed by this, by you referencing yourself as "his little darling". So, if I've assumed correctly, this is in memory of your beloved father or grandfather. But I am puzzled by the slight smile you are forcing, in the fifth stanza. The details of "him" emerge brilliantly towards the end. Picturing his face, hearing his voice, his hat crooked, his voice deep. There is heartbreak abundant here. I hope it has healed somewhat and comforts you now. Nice to meet you, Ann. Many blessings!

[Ann Outlaw]

Hi, Kelly. Thank you for stopping by and reading this. Ah I do love how we can all interpret words so differently ;) That's the beauty of it all. Thanks again for being here!