Curtained Sympathy

Where do you go when you can't seem to cry?

She could only cry when in the shower,

the safe haven that carried her through years.

Hunched in a ball, this is where she cowers.

 

Each drop of water masked a tear, flowers

void of color absorbing saltine fears.

She could only cry when in the shower.

 

Her nose was easily blown, she bowed her

head, lips pointed to the drain oh so near.

Hunched in a ball, this is where she cowers.

 

Her shoulders shook, arms to her chest, power-

less to what she saw within the mirrors.

She could only cry when in the shower.

 

Face pressed against the walls, tasting sour,

trembling hands clawed through wet hair like shears.

Hunched in a ball, this is where she cowers.

 

Water level raised, coldly devour(ing)

the solace she so needed to appear.

She could only cry when in the shower,

hunched in a ball, this is where she cowers.

Author's Note

I found this in a file with old writing I did when I was depressed. I had gotten to that stage where you can't even cry anymore, and then one day I cried in the shower. I had this crazy vision of only ever being able to cry there, and that inspired this. I'm not normally one to write about such things, but every once in a while I do it. It's a villanelle, so that explains the form.

Reviews

[Carlie]

By no means am I qualified to critique your work as honestly I have no idea what a villanelle is, but I can tell you that you pulled at my heartstrings with this one. I can't say that I know how you felt as you wrote this poem, for, although we may have similar experiences no two hearts are exactly alike, however you have done such a beautiful job of drawing me into your world. You have expressed in this poem what so many people struggle to accept and to admit because of the constant need we feel to mask our emotions and to hide our broken hearts from ourselves and the world.
The repetition of those two lines in your poem really drive it home, and make this poem one that will run through my mind multiple times, each time bringing all the emotions felt in this poem to the forefront of my mind.
Point is, I really like this poem. Hope that made sense. I am sleep deprived.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Wow I am stunned reading this... the emotional power behind it is amazing... the sadness can be felt in each verse... the repeat of only crying in the shower is simple and yet what really makes the poem pop... this is one of your best in my opinion.

[TTBoy28]

This is a good write for I wonder if the shower actually represented the victim's voice. I feel that the tears were masked by the shower's downpour - but the difficulty is in the strategic or non-strategic positioning of the drain. This is the only image that needs adjusting for me.

[deeps]

WOW this is amazing and really powerful, i enjoyed this write alot.

[Sara]

a lovely, haunting piece... i think you illustrated how a lot of people (me included) have a difficult time dealing with their emotions -- so often we hide away feelings of depression and loneliness, and present a false 'happy face' to the world... using words like 'hunched' and 'cowers', and telling us the water 'masked' her tears, you make this moment one of shame for the character, as if showing sadness is equivalent to showing weakness; as if crying must be some behind-closed-doors act that can only be done in places like showers... a touching poem... probably my only tiff with this (and this is so stemming from my own innate prejudice) is the use of rhyme... idk, but to me, rhyming always seems to make a serious subject less serious... *shrugs*... it really doesn't matter, i guess, your poem's still really good, very thoughtful... great job. :)

[Dutch Jr.]

I can read how hurt you must have been when you wrote this. It implies severe sadness, and I can see you, hunched over in the running shower, shedding limitless tears. Your poetry always has a creative way of wording thing, too, such as "void of color absorbing saltine fears". I felt that this was excellent abstract imagery.

[Devons]

I think this is quite a powerful poem. It evokes that private human moment and preserved emotion, shown only to itself. It is a representative voice of self-hating depression. The arrangement and repetition of the hook lines draws up a strong image of weakness and solitude and loneliness of the soul. It is quite a harrowing picture to conceive. It reminds me somewhat of how I'd imagine many last moments of poor wretched creatures all over the world and throughout history, before they decide to take their own lives.
Some -perhaps like this one- probably entertain the same idea at some point in their lives, but in the end somehow manage to summon the strength (or weakness) to decide against such an end.
Vivid.