The Bill

"HA HA HA"

is old, tattered, and soft in my hands.

 

The tape holding two torn pieces

together, like desperate fingers clinging

to a railing, tells me that a young girl

snapped it too excitedly.

 

The off-color blob over the one

consumes the number like The Mist

and gurgles to me that a child blew

a sneeze to decorate it.

 

Scrawled on the side like a billboard

is an invitation for the unknown

receiver to call “Ashlyn”, the cashier

from Costco, where the bill was once

suctioned up a tube like one in a bank (fancy).

 

The mini-mountains of crinkles that

cover its face and rear grumble of

that child who scrunched it's clear face

and chucked it at a candy store clerk.

 

They speak to me, telling a story

of diseases spread, bodies touched,

people bought, and things seen.

I have never been so captured by

a piece of paper. I sit at my desk,

contemplating it, before I add

a twist of my own.

 

It begins with a grin scratched over

George’s mouth that hides, then

grows into circles that drown out his

delicate eyes, and finally the word “HA” is

written repeatedly-

 

you have been jokerized.

~Annette Jay Sweeney~

Author's Note

I wrote this for one of my creative writing classes.I've had a fascination with the travel of money for a long time.The last part refers to The Joker from Batman, and I actually "jokerized" a dollar. This is the second version of my poem. I want to know in particular you think of (fancy), the accidental rhyming going on in the last stanza, the fact that the title is actually the first line and whether or not it is too bland, and if you know what I mean by jokerize and whether or not this could turn away audiences.

Reviews

[Antonio Valentino]

This poem not only makes dollars, it makes sense. With inflatation our money is quite a joke isn't it? I mean I couldn't lost right now if it cost a quarter to go around the world. Heck, I can hadly afford to pay attention.

Annette, I loved this part"

They speak to me, telling a story
of diseases spread, bodies touched,
people bought, and things seen.
I have never been so captured by
a piece of paper. I sit at my desk,
contemplating it, before I add
a twist of my own.

Your creative mind never ceases to amaze me.

One extremlely, worthy, poem!
Antonio

[J. Randall Dodd]

ann,

i like this as a whole! i never really looked at the travels and journeys that a dollar bill can go through in its lifetime.

i especially enjoyed s1 with the description of tape and hands holding a railing (just one thought on that line though, with the word desperate preceding, "clinging" may bring more emotional tension than holding). i also enjoyed the description of jokerizing george (maybe though you could add something in hysteria, or hysterically laughing while writing...just me thinking while writing this)

my one real nit in this poem is in s4. "the mountains of crinkles that" is nice, but doesn't tie very coherently to the following up of the kid chucking the bill at the candy store clerk. (what about: "the ridges and valleys of rock-candy mountains that")

overall ann, very nice. the form is very concise and well received. i like how the title flows into the first separate line, but the final line is also separate to balance out the work. i enjoyed this poem and wasn't constantly caught up in short comings, which is a good thing. extremely competent work.

sincerely,
jr