Non Believer

In a moment of doubt that it really exists...

You are so very infantile

At first glimpse I thought I would stay awhile

But now I sit here with Not what I want

Perhaps I stay out of simple greed

Because not one person in this world do I truly Need!

 

 

How can you think you are so enlightened?

When of worldly knowledge you grasp at fringes

Recite to me the words of your lyrical gods

But to my own purpose in words, you are a snob

 

I’m trying so hard to understand

How it is you think you are in such high demand?

 

To me, it seems you are so simply entertained

In the name of saving you some pride, I have refrained

From saying to you exactly what I think

After which into misery you may quickly sink

If I showed you how I really feel -

 im convinced the Love in stories just can’t be real

 

A lifetime of knowledge im forced to compare

To a warm body in bed just to have someone there!

Id rather be alone expanding  this life

Than participate in this farce, it just doesn’t feel right.

Reviews

[James W. A.]

A pretty good poem! I liked the rhyme scheme and how it sometimes got a bit unorthodox, because I thought that was neat and innovative. The theme and message of the piece is clear and well-presented, which is excellent in writing that carries this much emotion. My only qualm about this poem is that the rhythm is a little bit off in some parts of it. For example, you have some lines that are rather long (such as lines 5, 11, and 17) which just seem awkwardly long or conflict with the other shorter/normal length lines (such as lines 1, 4, and 16). I would recommend to split those into multiple lines or cut out unnecessary verbiage. Other than that though, it's a great poem and I enjoyed reading it!