Grieving

a poem about loss. no personal experience behind it.

When the lights go out at night

Do you really think that I’m all right?

 

Alone in this bed I toss and I turn

I cry in my sleep while I still yearn

 

I close my eyes and drift away

Even in my dreams your far away

 

My heart is slowly breaking

My soul is painfully aching

 

When you left so long ago

I never wanted to let go

 

When you told me you were leaving

That’s when I started my grieving

 

Author's Note

give feed back and comments. i feel it needs improvement i just dont know what

Reviews

[Satellite Heart]

This is like the story of my life. I totally heart this poem! awesum

[Jenny-Jen-Jen]

I think this poem was pretty good. I liked the format really. You can easily feel the emotion in this piece which is really good :] well done, nice write.

[Cคɾเ&#..]

Oh this is sweet! yet so utterbly heartwrenching, in a beautiful way! Oh I love it! It does not need improvements it's wonderful the way it is. i get powerful images in my head when I read it, ahhhh its awesome.

[Brianna Brie]

I close my eyes and drift away

Even in my dreams your far away

My heart is slowly breaking

My soul is painfully aching

It is full of emotion and rhymes well. Splendid poetry. Thanks for entering the Missing Him, Missing Her contest.

[Str8jacket]

I don't really think it needs any improvement. Unless you want to explicate further on what exactly happened. Other than that I think this direct and straight to the point with a lot of emotion behind it.

[**Cullenified77]

its great
:)