I thought I knew

I thought I knew unfair when Dad died

I thought I knew despair as well

I sure as hell knew misery

Defeat

and

Sadness

But now again, another loss

Hope shattered all over

Ironic, the tattoo on my arm

“While I breathe, I hope.”

It’s like years ago, I anticipated so much tragedy

A sweet innocent baby came and went

Now I know despair and misery to the core

Defeat and sadness have returned

But this time as well, comes gut wrenching agony

Twin, I feel your pain, I feel your sorrow

I feel your lost hopes, your lost dreams

And I feel your emptiness too

I would like to know joy for a change

I know there are so many others that feel the same way

I know hospital walls, hospital rooms

I know nurses, doctors, visitors, other sad looking families

I know what it’s like to get your hopes up

I know what it’s like to be positive

But I also know sometimes it’s not enough

Sometimes there is nothing anyone can do

Sometimes maybe you get stronger

Maybe you smile again

You even laugh sure

I thought I understood this grief thing

I thought I had it all figured out

I know now it’s impossible

It’s horrific every time

I lose myself in this world while I try to escape

I’ll be back soon enough

Lets remember little Lachlan

Lets remember Dad too

Lets not bury the hope yet

Although I really want to

We need it to carry us ahead