Dysphoria

I sand smooth
     the rough
          edges of my words,
     over and
          over again.

Running fingers
     over them, only to
          find flesh still snags.
     I push harder
          down upon them,
     until blood
          has coated ink.

Turning red
     the ebony lines
          of dissatisfaction.

Still...
     they are not refined,
          not smooth
     to the minds
          touch.

A finer grade
     of sandpaper
          is needed,

but...
     will do nothing.

Reviews

[Gandré]

Well, as the Greek word says, dusphoros - hard to bear ... dissatisfaction is a state of consciousness, so to be aware is the most important thing. I always feel dominated by my dysphoria, like I had it the last weeks, ill and paralyzed by illness, but it's over, and I am home again.
This poem deals with writer's block, very poetic and pretty.

[Pax Analog]

The idea of polished or rough-edged is an ironic one. Given your theme, I even wonder if "finner" is an intentional typo. ;-)

The most riveting aspect of this polish vs. rough-edgedness is the raw physicality of fingers bleeding on the letters, like some desperado Braille press. That is also a further enjoyable paradox -- fingers rendered rough through some impossible attempt at verbal polish.

Your title refers to a state of unhappiness, but I find the irony of polish and rough edge even more prominent.

Striking work.

[bob, small b. aka invs]

i like the image of sanding used to show the work that goes into refining a piece of writing. and also the thought that no matter how much work is put into that refining, there is often the feeling that more should be done. nicely written. i enjoyed it a lot.

[Tony]

This is as fine as an emery board. You made your reader feel every word in this wonderful piece and the form used added to its excellence. Great work, I am glad I stopped by to read.

Tony

[Jinx's Heart]

Very visceral and almost physical. I can feel those words you speak of. It's such a moving poem with the emotions all too familiar to all of us, yet you allow it to reach a whole new level. Awesome work.

[An owl on the moon]

Emotionally moving into a state of sadness, restlessness... Your words fall soft like summer rain...

[Michael X]

Beautifully written and well thought out in form, the imagery and passion
set the mood nicely, subtle yet riveting, keep up the great work.

[R J Askew]

I like the sanding idea very much and the tactility of touching the words is great. I think writing is very physical and visveral. So I love the fusion of blud and ink! Great stuff. Ach, the minds touch!!!! Love that bit. And *smiles wryly* at self-depreciatory wit of finer sandpaper.

I landed on my feet with this one as I enjoyed it very much. It's clever, and has truth in it as we all know we can do better.

[Lewis Findley]

Anna My dear sister, THIS IS MAGNIFISENCE, And yes, I am Lewis FOrmerly of Starlite, AND I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH MY DEAR ((((((HUGS))))))) Lewis