Skins (Relive)

Written in May 2008.

She is more air than muscle,

skin stretched thin over protruding

bones. Lost in her world,

the one confined within her head,

she has no concept of reality,

of her body’s needs,

or of me.

 

She changes her skin

more often than most change

their clothes. Throwing one identity

into the trash when she begins

to find it’s faults, pulling

on a new one as if she were

putting on armor and readying for war.

 

Lost in her mind,

protected by the shields of false

and fleeting character,

she hides from me. And I am forever unable

to relive the sweet butterfly

touches of her lips against mine

as we whisper infinities and

impossibilities in the dark

dreaming of a world where

the skin we’re  born with is enough.

Reviews

[Constance]

This is a wonderful poem for a few reasons: First and foremost, the metaphor is fluently portrayed throughout the entire piece. Then, though it is free verse, it maintains a sort of flow and structure that are easily followed. Lastly, it leaves one with a potent sense of the emotion portrayed, long after the poem has been read. The only thing I see is that the punctuation could be done more effectively in the second stanza. It is really all one sentence, and has become fragments. That being said, it is wonderful and fluent, just like it is.
Thank you so much for posting it for us to read. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece.

[Jim W White]

Great opening line.. intrigue is played cleverly across the piece and the subject of the poem [she] remains elusive so the reader shares your longing (to some degree, no pretences) and the emotional tones mix really well. I like how the write's multi-faceted theme-wise.. 'skin' for blatant sensuality and 'lost' as in the way everyone feels when they are chasing something they cannot obtain. I like it a lot.

[Sarajane]

Sounds like free verse. This is great, but really heart breaking. Whoever she is, she sounds beautiful, but lost. Thanks for this, it makes me think.

[Eslynn]

beautifuly written! This is painfully true... humans change their skin all the time in a vain attempt to fit in with the constantly changing world. I also like the dark romance this has near the end, showing how sweet love is, yet almost forbidden in a sence. Good job! :D

[Robert Luna]

We as humans do change our skins in a way as we allow ourselves to become different beings all the time. Giving to the influences of those that are around us friends, family, lovers. We are adaptive creatures by nature. The identity we have today may not not be the one we have tomorrow as I am a creative being at all times but tonight i am a reader tomorrow I will be a unwilling lackey. Seems we have to paint smile upon our faces as our tongues scream obscenities at the world around us. This was a thought provoking pieces as I see us as constantly changing and never remaining the same. But I hope that to each of us that we continue to change positively for th right reasons. I enjoyed this as it gave my thoughts a playground to run and jump.

Well Done!!!!!

[Sarah]

This is a heart-breaking poem and touches upon the darkness and sickness associated with those that are so disgusted with their appearance, that they feel the need to change themselves. Unfortunately we live in a society where perfection seems to be the standard, and it drives some people mad. x_x; Great job with this, very emotional & dark!

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

This is a great piece, it reads very true, you can feel the emotions in it and the images you painted were very good... that said i think that it could flow a little better but only my opinion and I'm the last person who should talk about flow hahaha.... Great Job!

a little common error we all make (you can fix this and the poem is perfect - it's should be its)

Very well painted imagery, one of the more impressive ones I have read.

Good form, great choice of words, very well imparted message.

This is a very good read

[huma]

every poem should be like this...a secret truth revealed...very nice.

[Dan Bullock]

Very intrigued about the back story behind this piece, what's it developed from thought wise? Your opening lines reminding me lyrically of the band Pulp. I don't know if you know them, check out a song called I Spy for delving into the skin, under the skin and into the lives behind it. Thanks for sharing.