Come Leap Along the Shadows

Come leap along the shadows.

Of the city in the dark.

The street lights trace the skyline,

And I'll gently trace your heart.

 

Come wander in the willows. 

Under a silver slit of moon.

The wind will hum  and we will sway,

To the warmth of summer's tune. 

 

Come plunge into the ocean, 

Into water cool and deep. 

We'll splash and wait for one strong wave,

to sweep us off our feet. 

 

Come roll with me down the hillside,

The grass licking your face.

The daisies laugh at out smiles.

While the butterflies dance with grace.

 

So come with me, don't hesitate,

Though our time isn't growing thin,

Though I would wait forever for you,

I don't ever want to begin. 

Reviews

[Rae Emeral]

Oh wow. I don't even know what to say. This is absolutely amazing! You are a fantastic poet! Your descriptions painted such a beautiful picture in my mind. I literally couldn't help but smile as I read this. It has such a smooth yet musical flow. Awesome poem! :) I look forward to reading more of your work.
~Rae Emeral

[devon]

This was very beautiful!

You're ability to paint lovely images in my head with your flow of words is brilliant!

"Come wander in the willows. Under a silver slit of moon." I think you meant to start a new line with, 'Under a silver slit of moon.'

Also, here, "So come with me don't hesitate," you need a comma after me.


Other than those small flaws, this was beyond beautiful. I am sooooo jealous!

[s.r.knight]

This is a beautiful piece. It flowed seamlessly from line to line and stanza to stanza. A lot of the time you can tell when someone is trying super hard to rhyme and it usually sticks out funny, your rhyming flows so well, almost as if the words were always meant to be there. Really wonderful work!