chapter 3

you'll never guess how this party turns out at the end

Nick calling me for dinner shook some of my thoughts away. That didn’t stop me from thinking all the unhappy things this choice could invite. I was willing to take the risk. 

"Ellie? What you thinking about. You seem to be calculating something. Are you trying to see how much oregano I should add?" He laughed softly to himself. He wasn’t the one for jokes.  

"no, I just couldn’t get the answer right on one of my homework that’s all." 

 

"Hey um, Amelia?" I called out to her casually. She answered while searching for something, then slammed her locker. Well, that proved how much she forgave me last night.  

I caught up with her in class. She stared blankly at me from underneath her long jet black eyelashes. Practically glared at me. Then looked away as if she didn’t see me. Just as I made up my mind to talk to her, Mrs.Lesley stepped into the classroom. 

So much for a good timing. 

I fumbled around as I grabbed my stuff. As she darted out of the classroom, I did too to match her pace.  

"Lia can we talk?" A cold response was thrown my way. 

"You should stop calling me Lia. It's kind of annoying." She sounded like she was the girl from 'mean girls' the sorority. I almost snorted.  

"tell me that again if its necessary later. I want to learn. Learn how to love. I want to let myself love people again. If it's possible. I'm really sorry for what I said last night. I really am. Forgive me?" 

She paused still looking at the locker. She only moved her head to see if I was actually speaking not some ghosts whispering in her ears. I was there right in front of her. She teasingly asked.  

"do you love me?" 

"yes." I think I whispered it, but not quiet enough that she couldn’t pick it up. Then she trapped me in a bear hug. Did I mention that she was 8 inches taller than me and with her heels? She was like the statue of liberty because in that moment she set me free.  

"thank you, for forgiving me" 

"well, I have no reason to! You changed your mental note so that you could love me! Who wouldn’t be happy?" She eagerly led, half dragging me out of the main school building.  

"do you want to have a slumber party? Yeah, we should you have to come over!" Of course, she didn’t wait for me to say yes. She was already blubbering about where to go buy face masks when I took in what she said. 

The night was awesome. I had actual fun. Which doesn’t happen very often. She smoldered me in makeup and dressed me in her clothes. Let's just say I didn’t fit. 

"Ellie look in the mirror" she sang cheerfully. Way too cheerful. I wobbled into view of the mirror. Jesus Christ, those 4-inch heels. 

"You look fabulous" she chirped. In comparison from her view, I looked awful. The bright pink outfit doesn’t match me and the heels are out of balance, literally. I felt good though. Very good. It felt nice to knock on the doors of 'fun'. That night I smiled thoroughly from my heart since one of my parents practically disappeared. My mom hasn’t given me any messages even though I left about a dozen messages. Eventually, I gave up.  

I was cozy in the bed with her. Her mattress was soft and bouncy. I loved it.  

"Hey Ellie, you'll get over it, you know. Not wholly but most of it. Even if you don't ill fill the holes that your mother left. I'll be your mother. That sounds weird but yeah." There was a very long silence that I thought she had slept. It well past midnight.  

"if you were cheddar cheese, ill melt you and mold you until you have no more holes." 

I pretended to sleep. I think she knew I was listening. That’s why she kept talking. She leaned her head on my chest and eventually her breathing slowed to an even beating.  

"thanks for being here. I love you" I whispered as she drifted away. Hoping she would hear it in her dreams.