“But Dad,” Eden whined one last time when she heard the doorbell ring and knew she was going to be in a bad mood all day because of it. “Why can’t you get someone else to tutor me?”
Her dad ruffled her brown hair. Something he hadn’t done since she was a little kid. Now that she was sixteen, this was the last thing she wanted him to do.
He narrowed his brown eyes at her and said calmly, “Edith, we both know how you’re failing social studies class. And I’m sorry to say, but the dyke waiting at the door for you is the only person I could find.”
Eden felt she had nothing else to lose and decided to try one more time. “Please? I-I’ll do better.”
“I know you will,” her father said, a sympathetic smile on his face. “Because this girl will be tutoring you.”
Eden pouted her lips like when she was six and wanted a Barbie so badly. She had gotten her wish, but this wish was one that wasn’t going to come true.
Ignoring his daughter’s immaturity, Mr. Walter went over to the door and opened it.
Eden plopped down in the chair at the kitchen table, crossing her arms over her chest just as she heard her dad open the door and say, “Why hello dy - I mean, Ms. Crystal,”
In only seconds, Eden heard the sound of footsteps then her worst nightmare appeared in the kitchen, Crystal Strain. She wasn’t the thinnest girl ever, but she didn’t seem to mind it. She had mountains of dark brown hair and brown eyes. She was wearing a dark blue sweater over a pair of black jeans that were tucked into Ugg boots. A messenger bag was hanging on one shoulder.
It wasn’t that Eden hated the girl because she was smart, a little chubby, or how she dressed. It was because Crystal was a lesbian. Eden had seen her making out with multiple girls in school. She couldn’t understand how a girl could kiss another girl as if she were a guy. It wasn’t right.
Mr. Walter came in and said, “Well, I have some work to do in my office. I’ll leave you two girls alone,” he gave his daughter a look that said “please don’t let this dyke try anything funny with you”. He was against Crystal’s decision to be a lesbian as much as Eden.
Eden rolled her eyes as he left. She slumped lower in her chair. Crystal stood in the doorway, but then took a seat at the table across from Eden, placing her bag on the table.
As she opened it and pulled out her textbook and a notebook she asked, “So, where should we start, Edith?”
Eden wasn’t afraid to tell people what she thought – everyone in school knew that – and she wasn’t about to hide the fact that she didn’t want to be tutored by a lesbian.
“Look,” Eden’s voice was pure annoyance. “My name is Eden – not Edith. My dad is the only person who calls me that because he says the name he gave me is the name I’m going to be called. Second, the last I want to do is be stuck in this kitchen with a dyke like you.”
Crystal stared at Eden with wide eyes, surprised at what she had just said. Eden smirked at the girl, feeling victorious.
Crystal narrowed her eyes and shrugged her shoulders. “Okay, Eden it is. Now, where do you want to start?”
The smirk left Eden’s face and was replaced with a confused frown. She couldn’t understand how this girl didn’t even try to defend herself when she was called a dyke. Weren’t gays and lesbians supposed to stand up for their “pride”? Wasn’t that what was all those “Pride Parades” about? Either way, Eden wasn’t about to let this girl get off the hook that easily.
“Why the hell do you like girls?” she demanded, though her voice wasn’t high or angry, but more on the firm side.
Crystal, who had been flipping through the pages in the textbook, stopped when Eden asked her question, and raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Why do you care?”
“Huh?”
Crystal held her head high and said with annoyance, “Look, I know you don’t want me to be your tutor. I know you hate me because I’m not attracted to guys like you are. I know you think it’s wrong for me to like girls. But, you know what? I don’t give a damn!” Annoyance quickly became anger. Her eyes glared into Eden’s with coldness. “Yeah, I like girls, so what? Yeah, I make out with them in hall, but so what? I don’t do it for attention; I do it to express my love to the person . . . the same way you make out with guys in the hallway. You do it to show the person you’re not afraid of people looking at you kissing your lover.”
Eden didn’t know how to respond to that. No one had ever given a speech like that to her. If she asked someone why they liked guys or girls they usually just shrug and say, “It’s none of your business,” or “Because I just do,” It came to her that Crystal wasn’t like most people and she was starting to wonder if it wasn’t such a bad thing after all.
Two weeks went by and Eden and Crystal studied almost everyday of the week. They both decided to keep their studying together a secret between them and Eden’s father.
“My friends, as you may have noticed, aren’t exactly . . . the nicest people to your people,” Eden said, fidgeting in her seat. If Crystal took what she said as offensive, it wasn’t meant to be. But why should I care if she takes offence to it? Eden wondered. It’s not like I like this girl or anything. Still, there is something about her . . .
Crystal lowered her eyes to the floor. “You should hear the things my friends say about you and your friends, too,”
Two days after Eden took her huge social studies test; she got a big B+ put right next to her name.
I can’t believe it! Eden happily cheered in her mind. I can’t believe I got a B+! Crystal will be so proud that our studying paid off! I can’t wait to tell her!
The sudden thought of Crystal made Eden confused. Why did I think of Crystal just now? She wondered. I mean, the first person who I should be telling is my father, right?
When Eden went home that day, her dad wasn’t there. She decided he was probably still working at the office. As she went into the kitchen to get a drink, the doorbell rang. Wondering who it was Eden was surprised to find it was Crystal. She was dressed in purple jeans with a star belt, ballet flats, and a light blue tee.
“What are you doing here?” Eden asked surprised. Their studying was now over. Once Eden would show her dad the test he would say, “Bye, bye, dyke. We won’t need you anymore,” and then they would never see each other except if they were lucky enough to pass each other in the hall.
Crystal gave a small smile. “Can I come in?” Eden moved to the side and let her through. They sat together on the living room couch. “I was wondering . . . how did your test go?”
Eden flashed her B+ paper and the next thing she knew she was being hugged tightly and congratulated. Suddenly she felt warm lips pressed against hers, the taste of Spearmint breathe mints suddenly entered her mouth. She felt herself being lost in the kiss and being forced to lie on the couch.
Out of all the guys she had kissed, Eden had never felt such a feeling of warmth and excitement they way she did now. When the lips pulled away she felt lonely.
“Eden,” Crystal’s voice came out in practically a whimper. “I-I love you. You may think this is stupid, but really, I do. I know you hate me for liking girls and all, but in those weeks we spent together studying, I found myself realizing you weren’t as bad as you came off. I can’t explain it. But trust me, I know I love you. I don’t want to date anyone else other than you.”
Is that what I had felt for her? Eden wondered. Was it love? Even though I acted like a homophobic b***h to her, she still had the guts to admit all this to me. And besides, if I hated her that much, I would have smacked her or something for kissing me.
She wrapped her arms around Crystal’s shoulders and said, “Let’s be girlfriend and girlfriend,”
A month went by since then. Eden and Crystal knew they couldn’t tell anyone about their relationship. They did the best they could to hide it when they were in public. They went shopping or to the movies or library on weekends – but made sure no one would be able to tell it was them making out, but more just like two random girls.
At school on Monday, Eden’s friend Jenny came up to her and asked, “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“What are you talking about?” Eden asked, pulling out a textbook from her locker.
Jenny narrowed her eyes angrily at her. “Don’t act stupid. One of Crystal Strain’s friends came up to me and asked why you were making out with Crystal at the movies last night. Eden, I thought you were straight! Why would you do this? You’re so gross. Don’t tell me you’re going out with her.”
Eden nodded. She didn’t want to keep it in any longer. “I am. But she’s so nice and-”
In one swift motion Jenny turned away from Eden and said, “Don’t ever talk to me again your lesbian freak!”
Eden soon lost her friends. They hated her now that she was dating a girl. They refused to talk to her and instead shot her nasty glares full of hate and coldness. Eden had never felt so alone in her life. And now felt what all the other people she had been mean to felt when she made fun of their sexuality.
When Eden went home that day, she was surprised to find her father, sitting on the couch, arms tightly across his chest, an unhappy frown on his face.
“I heard you were dating that Crystal girl,” he said unhappily, getting to his feet.
“Dad-” Eden started.
“We can get you help,” her father said calmly, placing his hands on her shoulders. “But first, you are to brake up with this girl,”
“No!” Eden screamed, pulling away. Her backpack fell off her shoulder and onto the floor. “You can’t make me brake up with her! She’s the most important thing in my life!” Eden knew her father wouldn’t approve of her relationship, which was why she didn’t want him to know. She wondered who had told him. And knew it had to be Jenny. Feeling tears begin to form in the corner of her eyes, she asked, “Jenny told you didn’t she?” Jenny had always had a big mouth; Eden knew if he said “no” he would be lying.
He crossed his arms firmly over his chest. “Young lady, this relationship is not expectable. What would God say if he found out?”
“Don’t change the subject!” Eden snapped. “God has nothing to do with this. It’s my decision! So, did Jenny tell you?”
He dad didn’t answer, just walked over to the phone. “I should make an appointment at church for you today,”
Eden felt tears fall down her cheeks as she ran out of the house and into the afternoon sun.
Fifteen minutes later, Crystal knocked on the door to Eden’s house. Her dad answered it. The minute she was in the house, he slammed the door behind her and his face became scrunched up in anger.
“What did you do to my daughter?” He screeched.
Crystal took a step backward into the living room, surprised at his sudden outburst. “Wha-what do you mean?”
“Don’t play stupid!” he yelled, his face turning read. “Thanks to you my daughter is now a lesbian! She’s now going against God’s wishes.”
What wishes? Crystal thought. Eden never mentioned how religious her dad was. Maybe that was why she didn’t want him to know. I should have expected this.
“Look,” Crystal said calmly. “It’s Eden’s choice on who she wants to love. She doesn’t have to follow anyone’s wishes on that.”
“Oh, really? Well, today I got a call from one of her friends, Jenny something. All of Eden’s friends now hate her because of you.”
“But she never said anything to me about that . . .”
“I’m going to get my daughter the help she needs. She is going to brake up with you and you are going to brake up with her.”
“No! She doesn’t want to. She loves me! I love her, too!”
“Tell me,” the calmness in his voice startled her. “Has she ever once said the exact words ‘I love you’?”
Now that Crystal thought about it, she hadn’t. She had never said those words to her. It was always her who said them and then Eden would say “Me too,” or “Same here,” but never in those exact words. “No, she never did.”
“I suggest you leave my daughter alone.”
Crystal went over to the door and opened it. Before she left, she turned back to him and said, “I know she loves me. She doesn’t need to say it. I know I ruined her life, though. There’s only one thing I can do about it.” She closed the door and left.
Eden didn’t how long she ran. She only knew she ran so far away she was in the woods. She didn’t recognize them.
Slowly, carefully, she made her way out of the woods. After about ten minutes of trying to retrace her steps, she found herself in a spot she recognized.
I have to tell Crystal, she thought. I have to tell her what’s going on. We can run away together. We can be free. We can love each other as much as we want.
As she started the slow walk to Crystal’s house, she knew she could finally tell Crystal she loved her. For a long time, she could only manage things like “Me too,” or “Same here,” after Crystal would say she loved her. But it was because she still wasn’t sure of her feelings. She still had to figure out what “love” really was.
When Eden got to Crystal’s house, she saw the front door wide open. Taking it as a bad sign, she ran into the house and up the stairs. She saw the room to Crystal’s door was closed. She burst the door open. Her eyes suddenly grew wide with disbelief, her mouth dropped opened and she screamed at the top of her lungs, "No! No! No! This can't be happening!" Gallons of tears poured out of her eyes as her trembling legs moved toward her girlfriend's bed.
There, laid Crystal. A knife was shoved so deep into her heart that the black handle was the only thing to be visible. Dark red blood surrounded the knife and made a thick trail going down her stomach. Her eyes that used to be so lively stared up blankly, her mouth hung open a little. Both her arms and legs were side by side, perfectly straight.
Eden stood at the side of her bed, staring down at her girlfriend's lifeless body. It suddenly felt like the world was spinning; spinning so fast Eden couldn't stand and dropped down to her knees. She buried her head in Crystal's bloody chest, not caring that blood was getting on her face. She began sobbing, screaming at the top of her lungs, screaming all her anger and sadness out, until her lungs finally became dry that she could only scream out short rasps.
Eden lifted her head up and suddenly caught a glimpse of a piece of paper on her nightstand. She reached her hand over and read what was written on it.
Eden,
You know how much I love you. And although you never said it to me, I know you love me, too. If you didn't, you wouldn't have kissed me back that first time we kissed. You would have pushed me off you and called me a dyke. But you didn't. It was that moment I realized I wanted to be with you forever. I wanted to move someplace we could be free and get married and be happy together. But . . . that won't happen now.
I had a talk with your dad before I did what I did. He said I was causing you pain. I caused your friends to hate you. He said you were going against God’s wishes when you started dating me and that he was going to get you “help”. I think he means he’s going to try and turn you straight.
I couldn't let myself interfere with your life. But my other option was to break up with you. But I loved you too much to ever do something that awful.
Eden, I'm sorry for any and every pain I had caused you while we were together. I did this because I love you, though. Please understand, I never wanted to leave you and this was the only way out. I'm sorry. I'll always love you, though.
Crystal
Eden wanted to cry, wanted to scream but she didn't have any tears left and her lungs burned like they were on fire.
Crystal didn't want to see me in any more pain, she realized, as the note slipped out her hands and landed somewhere on the floor. And she knew I loved her, even though I was too unsure to say it.
Eden got to her feet, realizing what she had to do. She lay down right next to Crystal and kissed her pale cheek. It felt cold, like kissing a block of ice from Alaska. She placed on hand of Crystal's and laced her cold fingers in her trembling ones. With the other hand, she reached over and gripped the handle of the knife. Her fingers shook violently as she gripped the knife with everything she had and pulled it out of Crystal's chest.
Eden felt like she was going to be sick, hearing the sound of the knife being pulled out of her chest.
Her other hand gripped Crystal's hand so hard her knuckles became as white as Crystal's face.
Fresh tears filled in the corner of her eyes as she pressed the tip of the knife against the spot her heart rest. Her now broken, pain filled heart.
"I love you, Crystal," Eden said in a whisper before pressing the knife deep inside her heart. She cried out from the pain, feeling her heart race. She began to feel her breath become rapid and soon short. She pulled the knife out, watching blood drip out of her chest and on the bed. The bloody knife feel out of her hands and landed on the bed. Her hand became even tighter around Crystal's.
Eden felt her heart beat one last time, she gave her last breath, and then everything went black.
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