An Unexpected Friendship3

Claire

She started.

Her fake smile,

Her wicked kind jestures,

but he hasn't fall for her yet

Luckily,

I have become friends with him.

She needs to fight through me,

before getting him.

There's a lot of people falling for him.

I guess it's because he's very cute.

Luckily, I have a lot of things

In common with him.

 

                    Hope

                   9/21/2010

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A nice beginning of a friendship. Good conversation and laughter can built a permanent friendship. A very good chapter.
Coyote

[WickedPenWielder]

Well this isn't a book...unless it is of poetry. It is okay, I do not really understand what type of plot you have going here...different journal entries about a new boy at school? Its decent writing but really no details, and some descriptions but very short. I would beef up the story, add descriptive words and metaphors to get your point across. :) Good luck! Also there are a few typographical errors (eye-eyes, fall-fell).

[Persona]

"fallen" "gestures" (like hand movements and stuff physically)
I do like the juxtaposition! wicked kind. Good!
"There are"
Careful - remember to advance the story properly, because the chunks are short and make sure not to always switch POVs