Stinding in the Rain

This is about a girl who is depressed about things in her life. I know i feel like this sometimes so I thought to wright about someone who is lonely and tierd of things going wrong in her life.

Standing in the rain,
Heart full of sorrow
crying out for help,
Wishing someone any one
To hear her silent cries for help.

Standing in the rain,
letting the small drops of water
fall on her charcoal black hair
and tan skin,
Hoping they would wash away the pain in her heart.

Standing in the rain,
Waiting for someone any one to came and save her
but no one ever stops for her,

Standing in the rain,
She hears a small still voice saying,
it's alright my child you are not alone,
in this would I am always here for you.

Standing in the rain,
She enter into his presence,
and comets her life to her king,
And her best friend.
 
Now she steps out of the rain
and into the world God gave us all,
heart full of joy praising his name,
she no longer has to wait in the rain
for someone to here her cries for help
all she has to do is pray to him.

 


 

Reviews

[Chris]

The thoughts are effective and comforting... might I suggest you read your poems aloud - listening closely as you do... It will help you understand rhythm and flow...and also help you catch typo's that even a spell check misses.

Take care,
Chris

[J.A.Bentley]

That's right Suz, "all she has to do is pray to him." Well written and full of imagery.

[Victoria Scott]

awe inspiring! Beautiful! I loved it susie fantastic job! you are really making incredible progress with your poetry! I can't believe you said you weren't good! Because you are :) and you write from the heart :D