Vicious Circle

I personified my eating disorder I guess.... I don't know, tell me what you think.

Trying to escape from the harsh grip he has on me,
I come so close to finding it, that thing that I keep searching for,
I grope in the darkness in search of myself,
Something I lost so long ago.
I feel something brush my finger tips,
I lunge and hold tight, hoping that I have finally found it,
But when my eyes refocus, when reality washes over me,
I see that it is him, and he takes my hand,
So warm in the cold air that has enveloped me,
His eyes so inviting, and his warmth so comforting;
He’s captivated me, yet again.

He takes the lead, takes control,
And I know with him, I will never win,
Sometimes it’s easier to give in,
It’s a vicious circle, it never comes to an end.
I finally begin to grasp reality,
Come to the harsh realization that he is abusing me,
But then, I turn around and there he stands,
Open arms, a fake smile, reaching out his hand,
Reciting a rehearsed apology I’ve heard too many times,
And yet I still reach out my hand and I take his in mine,
Intertwine fingers and hold on tight,
A vicious circle never ends.

He takes control and I don’t mind,
I begin give up, lose control of my own life.
He seems to be the face of perfection,
What I wished I could see within my own reflection,
To be the answers to all of my questions,
I remain oblivious to the chains which he has tied to me,
Sometimes desperation blinds you from reality.

Reviews

[Kiynteyh]

Brilliant piece. The idea of personifying your disorder, absolutely brilliant and well written, as well. Love it. Great work.

[Somebody you've already..]

You have captured the reality and truth of an eating disorder. Its a very good write and I hope you can over come your sickness as quickly as you let it in.

[J.E. Stroud]

That's a really good explanation of an eating disorder. The last paragraph is my favorite...
and even though you can see that the beauty of it is just a mask, the thought of your bones being revealed is absolutely captivating and almost impossible to escape.