BOBBY'S FIEND

A TERRIBLE 24 HOURS FOR BOBBY.

Bobby saw the fiend peering out from behind the large magnolia tree. This happened on the playground at school. The fiend was tall, very thin with large, black bulging eyes and blood red lips. The fiend was staring at Bobby, digging its long black fingernails into the skin of the magnolia tree. Sap bled. The white gooey liquid ran down the fiend's spotty hand.

The night before the fiend stood at the foot of Bobby's bed and watched him sleep. Bobby just covered his head and prayed the fiend wouldn't hurt him. It's safe to say Bobby didn't sleep much that night.

Earlier in the day, while standing in line for lunch, the fiend tripped Monica Brant. She fell hard on the lunch room floor, breaking her nose. Everyone standing in that line had to go the principle's office and explain what they saw. No one saw anything except for Bobby. He saw the fiend trip Monica and laugh shrilly as Monica lay on the floor in a puddle of blood,wailing.

But that's not what Bobby told the principle.

He reiterated what the other children said.

Later, at the drug store, the fiend followed Bobby inside. Bobby made his way to the comic books for the latest issue of Detective comics. He looked around the corner and saw the fiend take four Hershey's candy bars and place them in the left pocket of his dingy jeans.

The fiend pointed at Bobby and laughed.

Bobby went to the counter to pay for his comic book, when the owner Mr. Ranse stopped him. He demanded Bobby empty his pockets in front of everyone in the drug store. Bobby placed a comb, chewing gum, a note from Linda Thomas (saying she had a crush on him), and ten dollars and fifty-two cents on the counter. Then, out of his left back pocket were four melted unopened bars of Hershey's chocolate.

Bobby hung his head as Mr. Ranse took the newest issue of Detective comics from him and escorted Bobby out of his store.

Bobby ran all the way home in tears. He ran upstairs past his mother and slammed his bedroom door. He flung himself on his bed and bawled non stop for an hour until he fell asleep.

His mother knocked on Bobby's door. She asked if he was all right. He didn't answer.

She shrugged, went into the bathroom.

Looking into the mirror, Bobby's mother laughed shrilly, her large bulging black eyes danced with delight. Licking her blood red lips, she dragged her long black fingernails across the bathroom mirror.

Reviews

[Chuck Briggs]

The story is a bit like a schoolyard bully, a little like Bobby's Fiend itself in that it knocks you an your a*s, challanges your preconceptions of what a story should do, and demands that you think about it before letting you up. You can't just glance over this one. You make the reader do the work and connect the dots -- and so this one sticks. It burys itself into your skin like a recluse spider. It burrows deep into your mind, the imagry and the logic not quite making sense, like a dream, before it starts working on the subconscious, demanding that you re-read, re-consider, and re-think.

All of which is a long winded way of saying: "I liked it - finally, after I thought it through. Admirably short, simply but effectiely written - as the best writing is, in my opinion and very, very effective. I think you're starting to work on a whole new level.

I'd say more - but I'm too damned jealous. :)

[mark slade]

Thanks for the kind words, Chuck. No need to be jealous, you do just fine with your stories.

[Chuck Briggs]

Naw. I have to write the inevitable jealous writer kills off rival story first.
Do you prefer demonic visitation, being transformed into your own, worst nightmare or just some smartypants sneaking up and making sure your door is propped open during the zombie apocalypse? :)