Eyes of Sin

At the gore cemetery,
He stood, with the eyes of sin
and the dagger that slit his wife.

Hands trembled, palms sweated
leaving His conscience marred.
The soul grieved
as the drops of blood
dripped like saline tears
coalescing into a blood splash
on the grey cold earth...

Reminiscences of the day
moved before his eye.

In the morning,
before he left for his business trip
He kissed her forehead
and bid adieu to say;
"You are my life
and I owe it to you..."
She had smiled in return to say;
"The World to me is you
and, I shall long for you
till every ounce of me
remains in you..."

In the wake of the half moon night,
He returned home all sudden
to find his wife sell her soul to another man.
His life draped naked and traded to desires,
His feelings disowned and stripped to mock,
He died a death in the hands of his own love
to all but wonder,
how hollow were her words?

Thoughts threaded like intertwined creepers
one after the other, endlessly gripping him.
Emotions grew like a storm and washed him in tears.
He questioned thyself,
Why did she betray me?
Why did she blindfold herself to my unconditional love?
Why did she give into the lust of another man?

As he dug her grave,
flashes of memory haunted him.
The day when he kissed her first
at the wedding solemn,
those words in his ears echoed;
"Thou shall be my earnest wife,
my sole companion till the eternity sighs..."
And, there he lay today
to bury his beloved wife
down into the chasm of timeless sands...

As the light of the day
shimmered the sky in crimson,
dawn arose but too late.
He lay on the epitaph of his tainted love
to engrave it with smears of his blood;
"Our eyes met for eternity to love
and to paint it with my empty dreams
I lay here with my slit veins
to sour you into our eyes of sin..."

- AH 12/15/2006

Author's Note

This is a prose poem. I wrote it way way back...
I would love to get some feedback on it. Thanks!

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: (before he left to his business trip) left for his -- to is not the right preposition to use in this context.
("World to me) The world -- The word World is missing a determiner before it.
(Emotions grew like storm) like a storm -- The word "storm " is missing a determiner before it.
(He questioned thy self) thyself

Review: You really should consider short story format for this, it reads very good in that format. Your powers of discription are well suited for story telling and it would showcase your way with words where poetry limits lengthy discriptions. Smoething to think about, you may be a novelist one day Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Abhilash Hegde]

Thank you so much, Bear for the detailed review...
I very much agree on your observations, will take care :)
I wrote this piece kinda long time back and was an experiment to try this out in a prose poem format. This is a very pertinent feedback and I value it! Thanks much..
I haven't been much of a story writer, but may be I should consider giving it a try in future. Poetry has always excited me and I've mostly tried sticking to that to my convenience, hehe :D

[zaisham9393]

I loved it.Very intriguing :)!

[Abhilash Hegde]

Thank you, zaisham9393 for sharing your thoughts. Glad to know, you found it to your liking !

[Stan Lee]

Intriguing story line and lots of well described emotions. Nicely written. Thanks for sharing! :)

[Abhilash Hegde]

Thanks Andronicus for reading and leaving a review. It's good to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

[Autonomous]

This is pretty cool it reminds me of a story I wrote as well, following a similar premise but totally different. I really liked how transformed the imagery with your choice of words, keep up the great work.

[Abhilash Hegde]

Oh nice, send me a link to your story(if you have it around), may be I could give that a read...
read moreOh nice, send me a link to your story(if you have it around), may be I could give that a read...
I'm glad to know you liked it. I appreciate your support and encouragement. Thanks Zwsed!

[Manu]

Again, another nice piece of writing !! It left me captivated till the end. This is a perfect poem that has a story: a story of love, betrayal and pain. Very well written, Abhilash !!
I am a fan of your writing.
Keep it up :-)

[Abhilash Hegde]

I appreciate you visiting this write and sharing your thoughts. Thanks so much Gorthi, for the encouraging words and your valuable support :)