love hate

love hate    sad sader sadest

5 part series of love gone bad

why do we tend the weeds

how had i forgotten your touch so wrong

the times we cared not for other than our self?

when did the fires flicker and just go away

and cause the pain we gave to each other?

how did we tell lie together as one became 

two and then another and yet another?

where do we go from here to wash away

the sins we had sung to each other?

how had we become so petty and lost

in a war of words that cut so very very deep?

where do we now go to find the ease

we once knew and rescue that which is left?

how do we ask forgiveness from the one we once loved

in order to save face so we can see beyond tomorrow?

how can we deceive our self in a blameless guilt 

when we know this has run it's course?

why do we tend the weeds of deception

just so we can continue to say even if not true

i love you?

no winner

it has been some time since we last spoke

more than a nod of the head or a shrug of the shoulder

how is it we continue to play this destructive game

when we both know there will be no winner

we knew it was but a lie

we knew it was but a lie 

when we both said i love you

as we carried on this masquerade of a dance 

not knowing the next move.

we twirled each other about 

in a whirlwind of deceit and pain

yet both refused to sit this one out 

as there was nothing left to save or salvage.

we were addicted to an idea 

of belonging to each other

rather than not playing this sick game 

we thought we needed.

we are blinded by lack of sensibility 

as we continued to punish each other

until there was nothing left but a void

that hate and anger eagerly waited to fill.

we had become that which we feared the most 

a casualty of our own making 

that knew no quarter and asked for none.

you asked of me

you asked me if i knew what i was doing

when i lied to gain control

you showed hesitation as you knew

i was but deceiving for my greedy gain

you were a willing victim and i wanted you so

and in a face of false bravado you cried out

please please don't do this to me

but i paid you no mind for i was selfish

only caring about my needs not your wants

and then you left me in triumphant victory

escaping my heavy hand that choked your very being

you stood tall and became as you are today

strong confident and on your own 

for the first time in your life

and i went in search for another.

i had earned

i saw you off to the side as you took careful aim

before squeezing tight that trigger.

i saw the flash and felt the burn as the sound 

made captive what sense there was left.

there was no pain as it was swift and final.

you had made the choice to stop me at all costs.

i had beaten your soul and tossed it aside

as i continued the abuse i demanded unto thee.

and each time you fell further and further away 

from the warmth of the day that held the truth

that you were undeserving of such indignity.

and i had earned nothing less than what you finally gave.