an ugly truth

an ugly truth 

do not be offended 

or feel saddened for me .

i answered the call

more than once failing 

to please the dark .

i was asked 

do you know 

the shame 

you bring to your family ?

how hard it is for them ?

really now ?

what about me ?

have i not been to the end myself .

this latest attempt was it not me 

that placed gun to head 

and so eagerly pulled that trigger 

with hope to end 

the pain that ruled me so ?

it made me mad 

the gun had failed

by misfire 

did the dark 

gain command ?

giving sentence 

to live this miserable way ?

it was not the first 

nor may it be not the last

only time holds that answer

for i surely don't know it myself

Author's Note

don't get all stressed ...

this is what is called ... good fictional writing
it's what writers should be able to do

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

Glad this is a fictional write. It is the ultimate irony when someone wanting to end it all uses a gun that misfires! We all have to be ourselves...no one can dictate what we are. However, someone wanting to end it all should try to reach out to someone who will listen. Well written. Lydi**

[keith]

i had a younger brother that 'bit the bullet' and several Nam buddies that also went down that road.
at first i was pissed but came to realize that mental health issues are all around us 24/7/365
it is a national tragedy the numbers of military veterans dying each day by suicide

[Lydia Shutter]

Yes, it is a tragedy. A good friend of mine chose to end his life with a shotgun....I was the one who found him. It is an image I will never erase from my mind.