Wet earth smell

Albert's Poetry Cafe ~ Poet Craft: Form ~ "The Dorsimbra" with Salvatore Buttaci

 

Just coming from somewhere an urge to cry

A pain in my chest, soar heart anguishing

And somehow these eyes feel so very dry

A stomach in knots, my throat tightening

 

Breathing is hard

As if chaos, coming my way

Would bring something terrible…

Can it be imagination playing?

 

Simple wet earth smell after some rain drops

Remembering the need for thunderstorms

Alive in the feelings of mind’s drawing

Just coming from somewhere an urge to cry

 

Author's Note

The Dorsimbra :
This form was created by people associated with Sol�s Magazine: Eve Braden, Frieda Dorris and Robert Simonton.
The form is a set of three quatrains (three stanzas of four lines each):

# 1 quatrain: four lines iambic pentameter rhymed abab. Remember that iambic pentameter means unstressed syllable followed by stressed syllable with ten syllables in total for each of the four lines)

# 2 quatrain: short and snappy free verse (no end rhymes)

# 3 quatrain: blank verse (which means unrhymed iambic pentameter).

Line # 12 is the same as Line # 1.

The creators of this form suggest the use of enjambment (running of a thought from one line to the next), internal rhymes, and near-rhymes to bind the three stanzas.

Reviews

[Gandré]

This is really a wonderful poem and after your explanation I understand even deeper. Sartre said that the phenomenological account (means, phenomenology as an approach that concentrates on the study of consciousness and the objects of direct experience) of imagination is the key to the freedom of consciousness. I totally loved your scheme! Thanks Angi for reading my new creation. love.

[Sharon Miller Bolander]

Tears have always come easily for me, and I've grown to appreciate the fact that crying offers release from the emotions involved. Some people by training or choice rarely cry. Your poem speaks for those who carry a knot inside and remain tearless on the outside. Wonderfully descriptive, Angi! Sharon

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Now it's perfect!

[Frances O'Neill]

Very nice! I like the way you turn your outlook around to an nature's aspect!

[Helena]

Beautiful poem and I felt the strong emotion flowing though this. Bravo! Thanks for submitting
this to Sal's contest ~ Helena

[Salvatore Buttaci]

I like your poem very much, but I have to mention that your line
Coming from somewhere an urge to cry
with which you begin and end your poem is missing one syllable. I think it shouldn't be difficult to add one.

[Belator Books]

The title is fantastic, immediately drawing one in to read. I liked the line 'remembering the need for thunderstorms' philosophic prose. Of all your pieces I liked this one the best. It is not so rambling, but seems to be tamer... though just as potent and musing as previous poems from you. Nicely done.