The Moon Shines In The Sky

The moon shines in the sky like a huge round diamond, above a world that I sometimes see as just a s**t storm.
I've been tracing my thoughts that sometimes feel like trash.... like graffiti spray painted on walls and under highway bridges.. like thrown away art.
Running on this highway called life.
I feel like second hand clothes, but I am an original just the same.
My life feels like a worn out paper bag.
There are shards of glass in my veins.

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

I really like the freedom with which you attack each line. The language is modern, lyrical, as if you are having a conversation and that is a good thing, indeed.
Winston

[light and ashes]

I think I might have been having a conversation in my head...with myself.
I just wrote it down exactly as I thought it.
Im glad you liked it. :)

Thank you for reviewing.

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest light and ashes... our World seems to be in decline in Leadership Areas; and we mourn for the Progress that we have so heavily paid to protect our Freedoms of our own Country and other Countries as well. We constantly pray for a Miracle and better days. tenderly, Pat

[light and ashes]

Thank you so much. I always appreciate your kindness, Patricia.

[Nusquam Esse]

I live in a small mountain city, and there is this random mile long tunnel that goes under the city, that many people don't know about. It doesn't seem like it belongs at all, dark and foreboding... I like to go under there from time to time to look at the graffiti that is scattered throughout it; someone is actively changing the artwork...honestly it is better than the small art gallery our university maintains. So perhaps in the right setting, to the right people, even graffiti has merit?

My advice for this poem is to look at deliberately structuring it, to add line breaks that help it flow more deliberately. Poetry becomes fun when you start evaluating how to use silence, how to group words, how you want the words to flow down the page. Your metaphors are on point, and I quite like this.

[light and ashes]

How cool! Thank you for sharing.
:)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Lines five and six absolutely stood out to me.
"an original just the same"
yes you are, light....and your poetry is original....you are a voice on WC...
always look forward to reading your new pieces.
j.

[light and ashes]

I love your work as well...I was reading one of your works earlier. I always love reading your kind reviews. Thank you so much.
You are awesome. :)