My faucet eyes

I think I cried in my sleep last night.
My sadness is an ocean.
My eyes are only faucets.
Sometimes they drip.

Reviews

[LJ]

I love this piece. It's amusing and insightful and sad at the same time, in just four lines. However, I think a reader is unnecessarily slowed down by the periods at the end of each line. I was taught by a poet that most punctuation in poems is unneeded, and it shows in this one. Try without, and maybe lose a few capital letters too. Just as an experiment.
You'll know what to leave and what to change, because you're a good writer... meaning, anyone who can write this piece is good, imo. And "...sometimes they drip" is a perfect end to the almost overwhelming start... the start seeming like the poem may be too hugely sad (an ocean) for some readers. I think everyone has some ocean in them, and you let us just peek at yours before telling us more about it in a metaphorical way, which I think it's great. The "faucet" twice mentioned is malfunctioning (dripping) and that also happens to most people, but I, for one, would never think to describe pain that way.

[Papaya]

I like your new name. It suits you.
Your new poem touches something deep in the heart.
The tears, they drop and the reader feels that deep sadness.

[light and ashes]

Thank you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and sometimes the water main totally breaks, and there is a flood...
we can't help tears, they come from too deep within.
j.

[light and ashes]

Thank you Jacob.