Last night thoughts... for the person that I fell out of touch with (April 1, 2008 evening)

Thoughts... thoughts... thoughts...

 

"Oh, well... wala na 'to ah. I have learned to let go of what kills me. You made me sick one time, but I had no other choice but to feel the pain... until it hurt no more.

 

I know very well that if I let it stay, if I just let it stay, it will surely impede the flow of my life. I don't want to be stuck in this situation forever. It will soon kill me. I don't want to die that way - in a scene where I haven't done enough effort to survive, save others, then eventually, saving the situation...

 

It will be unfair for those who are drowning with me because I wrecked the ship. Life gives enough unfairness, and I want to contribute no more.

 

I know that all you are asking is time... enough time. It is all fine with me... seriously, even if your minute will take forever. Take your time.

 

Can I also ask you a favor? Please don't let it take too long. We don't know what is in Father Time's head... if you know what I mean.

 

There were times when I wanted to knock you off your recent thought about my behavior. I got over it already. Should you just give me the time, and ample chance, I can explain. But I also know that you don’t need it either. I know that all you need, for now, is my understanding. I can give you lots of it... even all.

 

I am still holding on to the memories that we made together with the nice and not-so-nice people in the world, the silly stuffs and thoughts that we never even thought we could have together... and to all my very much appreciated moments of silence that we had...

 

Well, I just want to say thank you for sharing those moments. I know, very well, that the things that we had aren’t yet that enough for an unbreakable friendship to exist. But I tell you, I am doing everything to make things work.

 

Well, all I need now is a talk, or even just a few words from you, assuring me that everything will turn out okay... :)”