Crush

Crushes are so painful yet euphoric at the same time. Who was it that said the heart wants what it wants. People have told me that love is a feeling and you can choose. I disagree.

Why doesn't he know I exist? Why won't he look at me? 

He doesn't even know I exist. 

They say I'm pretty. They say I am gorgeous. A lot of them do. 

So why doesn't this one that I want see me?

I don't understand where this came from. He's not my usual. He's not hot. He's older this time. But he is smart. He is a good man that does what ever he can for others. He does work hard. Everyone loves him.

I want him. 

I don't know how anyone stands this. I don't know how anyone likes this experience and wishes for it.

When the person you like doesn't like you back. Doesn't know you exist.

He knows i exist. That is what is so funny. So close. He's so close. He just doesn't know I exist in the capacity that I want.

I'm just another client, or even worse he sees me as a child. Its not fair. 

I just wish he would see me. I wish he would think I'm pretty too. I want to know what he thinks of me. 

How am I supposed to get through this?! 

Just waiting. Just watching him. Hoping. Maybe one day he will know and love me back.

Author's Note

May expand later. What do you think of this so far? Any ideas on where I could take it. Interesting yes/No? Does this resound with a lot of ppl? Maybe all age groups? How could I make it more realistic?