DONALD GOES TO PLAY GOLF IN SCOTLAND

Donald travels to Scotland following tea with the Queen, to play golf on his course there, but finds an upsetting surprise has been planned.

                    DONALD'S TRIP TO EUROPE

                                CURTAIN UP

                                     Act Two                                                                         

                               BATTLE FLAGS

THE PLAYERS:

                        DONALD

                        GEORGE,who is Donald's driver

                        DAVID MILNE, a local Scotsman

DONALD climbs out of his car, telling the driver to get his golf clubs out of the trunk.

He looks around, surveying his property.He is horrified by what he sees; a Mexican flag is flying alongside of Saint Andrew's Cross (the Saltire)by David Milne*, the guy who lives beside Trump's property.

D:Oh my God, George--look at that!

G: Is something wrong, sir?

D(looks around worriedly): The Mexicans, George! They must have invaded Scotland, and they've taken over!

G(with a sly smile and a wink at the Audience):Ah, yes, sir, I seem to remember hearing about it over breakfast this morning.

D(horrified):Aren't you concerned?

G:Ah, no, indeed, sir. Other countries invade this one all the time. Last week, it was Canada. They've taken over our East coast. Mexico is takin' the West; they shouldn't bother one another.

D:Oh, no! America's two most feared enemies taking over my ancestral homeland! (he takes a notebook out of his pocket and looks at it) I'm supposed to be in Ayrshire on Friday to open my other course there...

G: Oh, aye; that'll be New Canada, now, sir. We were going to call ourselves New Mexico here, but it seems you Yanks have already taken that one.

D(panicking):What? You mean it's happening back home, too? I'd better get back there...take me to the airport, George!

G:My pleasure, sir.

DAVID MILNE(addressing the audience): I am currently flying a Mexican flag along with my usual Saltire just for solidarity along with those worldwide who Trump has decried, insulted and threatened over the years, and will continue to decry, insult and threaten.

THEY GET BACK INTO THE CAR AND DRIVE AWAY

                            end of Act Two

.

Reviews

[Samuel Dickens]

With any luck, Orange Foolius will become so upset with Canada and Mexico that he'll move that golf course to Siberia. I'm sure they'd welcome him there. At first, at least. He could have his welcoming crowd of two polar bears and a beaver digitally enhanced so as to look YUGE.

[angel]

You lie! Fake News! There were HUNDREDS of polar bears--no, THOUSANDS in that crowd! And I'm the least racist person in history! There were some penguins there, too. Isn't there some old Simon and Garfunkle song that says they're educated? I hear there's one who's elementary, as well.

[Wild Rose]

Ha! Ha!
You have found a way to send him packing

GoodIm for you

Niver tak on a Scot on His home ground
Tek his cash an kick Him out

[angel]

I demand a NOBEL PRIZE!

[Wild Rose]

Yes for 'Services to Humanity' or 'World Peace'

[Ken Simm.]

We have a soft drink over here in Scotland called Irn Bru. It is fizzy and very orange. Apparently it has been banned (truthfully) from all Trumps gold courses.

[angel]

Probably no Orange Julius, either.

[Lorry]

Reading this, I rembered I had forgot to remember to tell you, his prestige club, took legal action to get the residents to remove them, and the judge fined his lawyers for being so ridiculous.
Ps...golfers. If you have a few grand spare to waste on a round of golf, remember to eat lunch elsewhere. It'll cost less than the 500 quid he charges, and probably won't be pissed in either :)

[angel]

That, my friend, will be my next Donald piece. One question, you forgot to say, did you like it? Don't hold criticism back. Don't just say nothing instead of something negative. I am ok with criticism from those whose opinion I care about.

[Lorry]

Definitely. These would be a hit over here. Unfortunately for you though, and it is beyond your control, I am a little disappointed that I have yet to see a comment from the trumpet himself, saying "FAKE NEWS" :)

[angel]

You may; he said it yesterday.

[Lorry]

The first thing I do is scan the review pics for his jowl scowl :)

[angel]

Isn't it lovely? I never see a picture of him smiling unless he is denigrating some minority or a Canadian. He doesn't care for the English (or their Queen), either...

[angel]

Here's a clip of Don the Con saying FAKE NEWS for ya!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqpzk-qGxMU