Dear love,
November 13th
Today’s not the first day I’ve come here and sat at the pier overlooking the deep ocean ahead of me. It’s not the first day that I hear your voice on repeat in my mind or the first day that I’ve missed you. But it’s the first day that I’ve had the courage to pick up a pen and leave my thoughts for the sea. Today’s the first day that I’ll finally let you know how I’ve been because I am stronger than what I believe to be.
Do you remember the first night that we met? It was right here, looking out at the ocean from this old bench at the pier. I didn’t know you and I had never spoken a word to you. Yet I was already in love with you. It’s funny, you know. Because they say that love at first sight doesn’t exist. But it does, I promise you it does. Because I’ve experienced it and it was the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt. And I wish it never left me.
It’s cold outside, the winds blowing from the east and stinging the tears out of my eyes. Its days like these that remind me of you, and I wish I could give you my coat to fight off the cold or kiss your hands to keep them warm.
It’s all but a memory
yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
November 18th
I found a picture of us today. One glimpse and I couldn’t stop myself from breaking down. I sat slouched against the bare wall, with tear stained cheeks and beaten eyes. I’m sorry for telling you this because I know that you would want me to feel happiness again. But it hurts because you were my happiness and I will never feel you again.
I’m sorry.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
November 27th
I received a rose today. It was beautiful and delicate just like you. It made my mind think so much of you that I had to rip it to shreds because it hurt to think. It hurt to think about your smile, or that contagious laugh that I can’t shake from my singed mind.
I kept one petal though. And placed it where your head should lay, right beside mine. I still don’t understand why you’re not there and maybe never will.
I want you to remember that I still love you.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
December 1st
I woke up this morning to a light and pleasant snow covering our lawn. I sipped my tea and made a cup for you because this was your favorite month.
So I shut my curtains and dumped out my tea, because I was too tired to feel anything.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
December 8th
I went for a walk today and thought that maybe you should have told me. That way I could have tasted your lips one last time. But then again, maybe it was better this way, because that would have been one more tear I’d have to set free. And I don’t know if I could handle that pain.
While I was walking, I accidently tripped over a rock and fell to the ground. It reminded me of how fast I had fallen for you, and how long it took me to get back up.
And this bruise I have on my left knee, reminded me of the one deep inside my soul, close to my heart. It’s not that visible, but the bruise on my knee still hurts when I run my fingers along the skin. Just like the bruise on my heart hurts when a memory of you caresses it.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
December 24th
Today is Christmas Eve and I feel sad because I barely wrote to you this month. But maybe that’s because I’d rather drown myself in my sheets then do something productive with my life.
I miss you more than ever today. I know that we would be drinking warm milk and listening to old Disney movies by the tree. Then maybe we could’ve walked down to that little café you used to love, and order our favorite sloppy Joes. I think that’s what I would have liked. But instead, today I-.
I just realized that I shouldn’t continue that sentence, because you would not like to know. And all I have to tell you is that I will be having no plans for today. And that would make you feel pain and I do not want you to think that this is your entire fault.
Because it is my fault.
It is my fault for letting you keep on holding onto my heart. But I don’t mind, because I love you.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
December 25th
I hope your Christmas is as magical as it would be if it were spent next to me.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
January 3rd
It is a new year. A new life many would say. But I am still stuck between the lines of forgetting and not forgetting.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
January 7th
Your mother called today. It was different and unusual to hear her voice. She spoke about the past and it opened more wounds that I had just stitched shut. But I did not mind because I love you. And I will do anything for you, even if that means a two hour conversation with your mother about the things I am trying my hardest not to think about.
She told me to write to you, and tell you how much she misses you and how much your father misses you. Although she never came out and said it, I know she would want you to know that no matter what happened in the past, she will always love you.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear love,
January 9th
I have not spoken to anyone for a while now and it’s given me time to think.
Yours forever,
Hudson
Dear friend,
January 29th
I have been proposed with many new thoughts and I have met a wonderful lady who told me that I make her happy.
And I have thought of my New Year’s resolution even though I am 29 days late.
Yours,
Hudson
Dear friend,
January 31st
I must forget you.
Yours,
Hudson
Dear friend,
February 1st
I sold the house today.
I am so sorry because I promised you that we could stay here forever.
and I’ve broken that promise.
Yours,
Hudson
Dear friend,
February 12th
I hope that you do not hate me and I hope that you still love me.
But today, I sold your car.
Because I haven’t been working the past couple weeks and I had no money left because of myself and I blame this all on me.
I am so sorry, so very sorry.
Yours,
Hudson
Dear friend,
February 28th
Today is my birthday, and I am now 27 and the lady I met who told me I make her happy took me down to the pier and I thought of you again and I got angry with myself because I am trying to forget.
Hudson
Dear friend,
March 3rd
The lady I met who told me I make her happy and brought me down to the pier decided to sleep in my bed last night.
I am so very guilty.
Hudson
Dear friend,
March 17th
I fell asleep last night and my mind dreamt of you. When I woke up, I realized that I did not like to dream about you. Because dreaming made me remember and I do not want to remember.
Hudson
Dear friend,
March 21st
I bought a bearded dragon today, and I thought I should let you know. Because you told me that you always wanted one and I will not break another promise, because you deserve better than that.
Hudson
Dear friend,
March 30th
I lied to you when I said I would not break another promise because today I took off my ring.
Hudson
Dear friend,
June 1st
I have lost track of time and I kept my new year’s resolution up until today. Because I was alone at the pier and the wind grew cold and I thought that I could give you my jacket to keep you warm or kiss your hands to fight the cold.
Then I remembered the lady who told me that I made her happy and nothing else mattered.
I am so sorry, so very sorry.
Hudson
Dear friend,
June 19th
I went down to the Italian restaurant and I promised myself I would not write. But I found myself with a pen in my hand and a tear rolling down my cheek.
The lady that decided to sleep in my bed that one night told me that maybe forgetting wasn’t what I should be doing and I told her to not be so stupid because I am no longer in love with you.
Hudson
Dear friend,
July 16th
She told me I should stop lying and write to you again. And I listened to her because she knows me more than I know myself.
I wanted to tell you that nights like this where the sky has not but one star and the moon is partially hidden away help me to not remember you.
Hudson
Dear friend,
August 14th
Your mother called again this morning, she told me she misses you and I lied and told her that I miss you too.
Hudson
Dear friend,
September 11th
Today I felt broken and I told myself to man up because the lady who told me that I made her happy deserves better than a man who cries and doesn’t even know why.
Hudson
Dear friend,
October 14th
Today the lady that told me I make her happy, brought me down to the pier and decided to sleep in my bed that one night said yes.
Hudson
Dear friend,
October 15th
I am no longer upset.
And I want you to know that you will be hidden deep somewhere in my mind forever. But I will not dig you out and feel that hurt again.
And I will not do this because I know you would not want me too.
I am sorry all my promises became broken.
I am so very very sorry.
Hudson
Dear stranger,
November 13th
I am now who I was before my lips ever touched yours.
The boy from the pier,
Hudson
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Read Request
My Library
Subscribe
Flag Writing