lost at sea

tears well up gently
they glide down so slowly
like drops on a windshield when it rains
you freely flowed in the waves
never really complained
even when a storm, they became
you were lost at sea
same as me
not having found that feeling
of being understood so well
no secrecy, no hiding, we fit so easily

i don’t know what that means
i don’t know how to stay
when it could lead to an ending
when it can lead to you choosing
and i can’t bear if it’s not me
you were lost at sea
same as me
never having felt that feeling
of being understood so well
it had been tiring, tasking, but we fit so easily

maybe that’s all this is
i’m mistaking kindness for the unmistakable
the thing they always warn about
you’re just nice to me
you show affection in subtle ways
but it sticks with me for days
you hold my hand, your lips touch my thigh
but that’s just it, it’s friendly
it has to be, you have a guy
you were lost at sea
same as me
not having ever felt the feeling
of being loved authentically
no strings, no sneaking, you two fit so easily

i stare at you as you stare at the sun
you said you knew how much i loved
you stare into me relentlessly
i look away so bashfully
one day it had changed
we were not the same
our laughs echoed across hallways, canyons, continents
the vast and complex nature in which you exist
you’re my best friend

i was lost at sea
that’s where you found me
white flag waving
cause i had never really felt that feeling
of being loved so purely
no second thought, no aftershock, you love me