Better Off

They told me not to erase you
I didn’t see any other way
They told me not to regret what you can’t change
I was so in so much pain, scared, in a dark place
I didn’t know how to get out of it
I didn’t know how to leave you
When it was for the best
I didn’t want to say goodbye yet
But it’s no longer a part of me
I can’t really feel it at all
I know I’m better off

They tell me it’s crazy
To not feel anything
When you hear someone’s name
When you think of the memory
Even though it was a part of your heart
How do I do it you ask?
I’m not sure, I don’t know the trick
I can tell you my heart raced a little bit
When she answered the door
And saw me on her porch
Like someone she used to know
But she don’t no more
I’ll watch her on the other side of an invisible wall
I know she’s better off

How does it turn into something else?
It was something I felt
Like a sharp dagger into my chest
When I no longer mattered to you
When you would do anything to see me hurt
I always put your heart first
And then I was hurt
When I waited for hours in the hospital for you
With the ones who heard all the things you had to say about me
Wondering why I was there at all
I think we wanted the same thing at heart
I’m better off

Just know I would do it again in a heartbeat
Some love never really changes
Even if it’s something that’s become faded
It’s always there, like a part of my DNA
It has made me who I am
And when I laid in the hospital bed
Silently asking for some help
But you were not someone I thought of
You didn’t come into my mind at all
Its how I knew I was better off

How is that someone could leave?
For you it’s always been easy
It’s something that’s freeing
But it feels like an anchor in my chest
Always sitting there and I’m drowning
I could never relate to how you cut your heart off to the ones you love
I can’t relate because I put you before myself 
The love I had for you is something I can’t even connect with now
It’s hard to love someone who can’t love the same way
So I didn’t ask for you when I was in pain
I almost left this earth and I can’t risk loving the ones who come and go
You’re in or you’re out
So I closed the door it’s locked
I’m better off

The truth is is that
You eventually find what you deserve
And eventually you see your worth
I don’t think I knew what it was before
I sacrificed a lot of my heart
To see others happy
But it came at a cost
I think you’re better off
Forever a piece of me
I would never replace
Still some thing so broken
It can never be repaired
I wish it had meant more
To both of us
Some things aren’t meant to be
We’re better off
We’re free