A Feeling

I want to value things that used to be

I used to burn them in the middle of sleepless nights 

So I'd wake up without the memory 

But it always catches up to me

When I'm drowning in a drink or a feeling

Cause how can you erase things so easily?

Don't think I'll ever know how 

I want to value the roads that were rough

because no matter how big the space someone took up

At one point it was enough 

I want to remember the best parts of the worst things

because my heart can so easily sink

in the dark water of my past 

thinking about what didn't last

He used to and she used to be what I had

How did they become that?

I want to value every every tear like it's art

my over exaggerated exasperated heart 

getting overly attached from the start

It's so easy to feel hurt, it makes me uneasy

Even when things were never promised to me

Even when things were never meant to be 

Maybe one day, I'll change this way of thinking

But I find it highly unlikely 

I'm tired of losing

It's like a tornado in my heart

it truly tears me apart 

I'm so righteous in my pain

It's like ocean waves

no mercy, ignoring cries for help

Not worrying about anyone but herself

Hurt people hurt others

But I'm tired of burning bridges 

My expectations were higher than I meant 

But I think a lot of disappointment is in my head

I'll keep feeling everything

And every emotion is painted on me

Thing I can't let go of

Things I'm still holding onto

But everything you go through

becomes a part of you 

another piece of the puzzle 

You keep putting together

something you'll have forever