The Rain

10-15-09

The rain falls

And no one can see

That the drops rolling

off my cheeks

Are really from me

 

No one here

Knows my name

They just walk on by

They’re all the same

 

I stand on the corner

And look to the skies

And let the rain fall

As I close my eyes

 

Some run past

To escape it all

But I don’t care

I just let it fall

 

Some have coats

Because the wind is cold

Again I don’t care

My arms I just fold

 

I can’t feel a thing

I’m just numb now

I let the rain fall

As I ask myself how

 

I begin to walk

No destination in sight

I just walk through the rain

On this cold, dark night

Reviews

[emipoemi]

This started off very well, with strong imagery and story that didn't seem to continue throughout the poem. "That the drops rolling/off my cheeks/are really from me" conjures up the brilliant image that the poetic "I" is crying.....that the tears are resembling the rain, and she's crying seemingly because of being completely alone and ignored: "No one here/Knows my name/They just walk on by".....but afterwards, the rain doesn't appear to maintain the image of being tears, but rather real rain, as people run to and fro with "coats, because the wind is cold" to "escape it all". And then the poetic "I" doesn't care? This has potential, no doubt about! It has all that a great poem needs, except that it doesn't quite seem to know what story it wants to tell: a rain as tears, or rain as rain falling on a "dark cold night". Both make for great poems, but it's hard to read and decipher this when you have two images crammed into one word. This is a great start, though, a very great start!

[Tony]

Very acquainted with the nightish or it has that Frostian feel going on. Really like the parellels you draw with the rain and wind and people that's cool-- especially the rain and people comparisons. Dark and atmospheric-- love it.