Fact or Fiction

"Complete the Story" Writing Prompt Journal Entry 1 The journal only allowed the story to last one page, but I plan to revise and continue the story soon.

“At first, we thought the black liquid was oil, that we’d struck it rich and that we’d be able to retire and live in leisure. We actually started writing down all the ways we’d spend the money. Our first choice was to pay off the mountain of debt we had somehow gotten ourselves into. Everyone shouted with joy at the sight. Unfortunately, it was short lived. The first screams of horror happened after “lights out”. I awoke with a jolt at the sound, my blood turned to ice.
                I crept out of my tent to see the dark liquid oozing through our campsite. I watched in horror as anything living that it touched, died. It circled around the fire pit, the embers, still glowing. I brought my lantern close and the liquid “moved” away, as if it were sentient and afraid of the light. I called for everyone to wake up. No one stirred.
                Carefully, I stepped around the liquid and began checking each tent. Everyone was gone. I quickly grabbed the kindling and got the fire going again. As it roared the life the liquid began to retreat back into the forest. Aside from the crackling of the fire, it was silent, and I remained at the fire’s side, stoking it until morning.
                The first rays of sun were like water in the middle of the desert. As the light became brighter, I put out the fire and began to search for the others as they had not returned. I didn’t have to search for long as their bodies were just beyond the campsite…”

                He stopped speaking and searched the other man’s face for a reaction. The man did not speak, his face unreadable. The man closed his notepad, stood, and went to the door of the room. “Good night, Mr. Arden,” was all he said before passing through.
                “Please, leave the lights on. It’s not safe in the dark.”

As he closed the door behind him, he looked at the nurse, who stood across the hall from the door. She took the few steps to approach him.
                “How is he?” the nurse asked.
                “He still believes it was the liquid that killed everyone…”

Reviews

[Kathleen Montgomery]

Good piece of writing. Interesting. It really painted a picture. I enjoyed traveling there.

[Morninglorya]

I really liked the transition!

[Relic]

Not a bad story. This reminds me of Steven Wilson's song "The raven that refused to speak." I love horror so this is right up my ally. It could use a slight revision, but other than that - excellent job. Made my day.

Great story.