The Color Red

My make up runs down my cheeks as I cry my eyes out in the bath tub with a blade only inches away from me. The thoughts of suicide race through my head. Would now be a good time to end my life? What is my purpose in this cold world? I stare at the scars that fill up one of my thighs. I count them. One, two, three, four, five..my thoughts suddenly shift to you and I lose count. I think about all the things we've done together and I begin to smile slightly. I haven't seen you in a few days and it has been so lonely. My heart feels empty. You dont know, but I read your story you wrote today and after reading it, I dropped to the floor and cried. You said you're done with me and with everything. You want to start a new life in a different state and it's all because of me. I treat you as if you're nothing to me and I blow you off when you tell me you love me. To be honest with you, I dont really know how to deal with a serious relationship. My past boyfriends have taught me that it's okay to cheat and lie. They showed me not to care about anything and I've been pushed around so much I dont even know where I belong. I can't thank you enough for treating me like I'm the only girl in the world. I apreciate the little things you do for me and I love every second I'm with you. I enjoy trying a new smoothie every time we go to Tropical Smoothie. I enjoy sharing food with you and driving around for hours. I love when you lay your head on me while we watch movies and listen to music. You are what gets me through the hours, the days, the weeks. Without you I am nothing and it really hurts to read that you've given up. I dont want all of this to end. I dont want you to leave. I move the blade closer to me and slowly pick it up. I gently slide my thumb over it. My tears fall onto my scars as I press the blade against my skin. The tears roll off and blend in the bath water. I close my eyes and cut my thigh and the color red appears. I slice my skin once more this time watching as I do it. The blood rolls off my thigh and is mixed with my tears. Don't leave me here alone..you're all I've got..

Reviews

[Richard Patrick]

It allows the reader to feel what you are feeling. You must look at all you got going for you. The pain of loss is a hurt that is a great deal. you must believe you are worthy of love. Embrace who you be? Love who you be first and foremost. You should look at what beauty you have, what a beauty you are?
Believe you can be loved, and try and see that you are lovable. Look are your traits, what they are, the best point that is yours believe.

[Ember Smyth]

A lot of grammar issues, but I get it, and other than that it is good!