about me.

It's about you....

I am a healthy 26 year old guy that is gay but lives in a country where gays are not allowed to be open and it is hard to date. I started going to this gym because I was a bit overweight and wanted to get back in shape after a brake up. To be honest I haven't had any action since the brake up and it is terrible to find anything serious in this modern age because everyone is on the Internet and just hooking up which became difficult to find anyone for a serious relationship and as if by any chance I seem to have a problem to connect with the let's be honest good looking but stupid or childish type of men and as well to add salt to injury I have a thing for nice faces the body more then less but a cute manly face is a must have.... Well nobody's perfect, as I was going to the gym after some time I notice this big, well build guy with a nice smile but also a serious face, it is that kind of face that is manly and cute ( like Robert Buckley kind of type/ well now you know what my sort of type is) well to start it on the bad side of things because I am a chicken I for a few months looked at him while he was working out ( to be honest every time I think of it I seem to have pervi, stalky side it seems) as faith wants it I soon to find out he worked there as a masseur which kind of would push things into my way well I thought that.

After a few months chickening out of a simple "HI" or anything else I had this elaborate plan where I ( the biggest chicken in the world ) would get a massage from him and start up a conversation or a sort of. Well dear readers I forgot that life is not as that simple as I thought when I got to the reception and wanted to go He wasn't working there that day he was free, because of an emergency with his girlfriend yeah your reading right he had a girlfriend to that time and I as the idiot as am and my luck I fall as usual for the Hetero type that is already in a relationship, well lucky me. By any chance after a few more months ( God I think I am dammed ) one would think people give up by some time but that is me when I like something I just get fixated at that even if it is impossible, well after some time he came to the gym gloomy as if something big happened just so I would get the news he is available they broke up and there it was again, ( the little part in my head which turned on and tuned out reality and turned on my fantasy) and I started to imagine things like: he would just one day come to me and kiss me out of the blue, and ask me out, and stuff like that.

Well I grew some balls and started talking to him while I had this imagination running wild I also had the rational part of me saying start a conversation finally you dumb a*s and see maybe he is stupid and this will all go poof and you will stop.

Well after we started talking I had a pleasant surprise we had so much in common that I started to believe that he is actually the one but the harsh reality came in he was not gay he was a typical boy that was into girls. Well after some time I withdraw from the gym and stopped going there I signed up in a new one because there was nothing for me and because I don't want to do something stupid and as said it's not common in my country to ask a boy out so it was better to stop this before something happened which I would  be regretting....

      Thanks for reading :)